Age Concern

Posted by: keymaker

Age Concern - 01/28/09 08:34 AM

It's all very well pursuing a career when you're young and thereby delaying the time when you settle down into family life but I reckon people should be in some way discouraged from having kids if they can't really look after them properly. Same goes for grandparents who often want to step into the breach to help out - there's such a thing as being just too old to look after young kids. Everyone knows that the older you get the more disabilities you're likely to suffer from and the less likely you are to able to take proper care of children - 48 years is way over the top for looking after kids and by the time you're about 59, let's face it, you're on your last legs. Put it this way, if society wants to tolerate people having kids whom they can't properly look after and when the grandparents are too old to do so then it should be prepared to take them away and find young foster parents who might have a bit more energy for looking after them.

km
Posted by: Lea

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 09:56 AM

You would deprive children of a loving home and grandparents of filling the breech based on the concept that a human being reaches an age when he/she shouldn't be allowed to take care of a child.

My grandparents pretty much raised me. Your concept of age and ability would be considered shockingly judgemental ~ except that it comes from you.

Oh, wait. I get it. You're bored, right? Can't kick any life into any of your other topics, huh? With any luck, this one will sink like the stone it is.




Posted by: steveg

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 10:21 AM

And you are basing this newest burst of blinding insight on... What "everyone knows", or what Keymaker knows?

Sure, there are abusive or emotionally challenged parents who should not have children (although it seems they have more than anyone else). But to hang an age limit on child bearing and rearing? Man, I think Lea's right. You're just bored today. Go find something constructive to do. Like making a baby!! Or are you too old? frown

BTW, my new mental health policy: I offer one reply per thread to km from now on, so you can take my lack of response to your response as "winning the debate", 'k?
Posted by: keymaker

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 10:28 AM

Quote:
to hang an age limit on child bearing and rearing?

I wasn't really hanging an age limit on parents so much as suggesting they should be discouraged from having kids if they can't really look after them properly and if the grandparents are too old to help out. Don't forget that conditions like angina or diabetes tend to set in with older people which can make it really difficult for them to look after kids.

km
Posted by: keymaker

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 10:31 AM

Quote:
You would deprive children of a loving home and grandparents of filling the breech based on the concept that a human being reaches an age when he/she shouldn't be allowed to take care of a child.

Well, adoptive parents can provide a loving home as well.

km
Posted by: eckhard

hmm..... beg to differ! - 01/28/09 10:38 AM


When my daughter was born, I was 47 (and her mother 32). Katrina will be 15 in July and I'm hitting 62 this May.

Four years ago, my daughte decided to stay with me, instead of returning to her mother in Canada and we have had some great years, because our talents and interests mesh so well and we have the same somewhat bizarre sense of humour.

A few years ago, I told her that if she was ever embarrassed by having such an old father, she could call me Gramps. She just laughed and told me I was the coolest Dad she had ever met.

Clearly, there are moments, when my ages shows. But in most instances, I am much calmer - remember she is in the midst of puberty - than I would have been 30 years ago, when my own career was topmost on my mind.

Chances are, I won't be around to meet my grand children, but I know that these years together have been and will be a tremendous value for her.
And I have been enjoying each and every moment with this young lady growing up next to me. It fits.




Posted by: yoyo52

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 10:42 AM

Not if they're gay, of course.

[ducks]

(The word in brackets is about the action I'm taking because I know what the response will evoke from KM. It's not intended to suggest that the avian species (that's plural because I don't think one species is any more important than another species of duck) are incapable of successfully becoming adoptive parents. Although, of course, I should have indicated "adoptive mother," since drakes seem to be rather lackadaisical about raising their offspring--no doubt hanging out in all-male flocks, which may be suspiciously like bands of gay ducks. And then we know already that single parents are to be eschewed because single parents can exhibit only one sexual mode of parental caring, and that's not good. So perhaps I do want to exclude the avian "duck" from becoming adoptive parents. Hmmm . . . given all this, perhaps they shouldn't be parents at all.)
Posted by: carp

Re: hmm..... beg to differ! - 01/28/09 10:49 AM

Well said Eck
Posted by: yoyo52

Re: hmm..... beg to differ! - 01/28/09 10:53 AM

Hear hear, eck.
Posted by: padmavyuha

Re: hmm..... beg to differ! - 01/28/09 11:01 AM

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, but parents like a Grand Duc, it's just a quack...
Posted by: Lea

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 11:12 AM


So can grandparents. I know this as a fact, based on my personal experience, as well as that of my brother and sister.

Your judgement that older people shouldn't be allowed to raise children is based on your opinion.

I win.




Posted by: Llewelyn

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 11:45 AM

So given that many children stay at home until 18, you're advocating people stop reproducing at 30?
Posted by: steveg

Re: hmm..... beg to differ! - 01/28/09 11:47 AM

Yessir! About the same ages, you and I and yours and mine. AFAIC, it's our kids that keep us from getting old.
Posted by: MacBozo

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 11:49 AM

I'm 58 and can still outwork folks half my age. I'm certainly not on my last legs, although my right knee hurts from time to time. I have no problem caring for my 6 year old grandaughter when the need arises due to my daughter's work schedule.
Posted by: steveg

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 11:51 AM

I see by your laughing gif that you've fallen and can't get up, you fossil! grin
Posted by: MacBozo

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 11:54 AM

*wheeze* *cough*





Where's that MedicAlert thingie?
Posted by: carp

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 11:55 AM

Yep I am a grandparent to and have no problems keeping up either .
Like what Eck said I too is more mellow with older age , heck I even let her color her hair . My daughter was forbidden when she was young.
Posted by: keymaker

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 11:58 AM

Quote:
I'm certainly not on my last legs...

I can't believe you guys all thought I was being serious... so we're all agreed that the Scots are off their rockers with this one <--- then?

km
Posted by: MacBozo

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 12:03 PM

Waaay off their rockers! By the way, can you start mine? Thanks!
Posted by: Lea

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 12:45 PM


I can't believe you would have even brought it up if it hadn't involved a gay couple .


As there was no mention of the piece you've linked to in your original post, the article is either 1) irrelevant (and really, it is) or 2) Man, you just can't get past the gay thing, huh? Gotta sneak it in the back door.






Posted by: steveg

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 01:17 PM

Here. These may be comforting to you, old timer:

Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate us aging boomers.

Bobby Darin ---
Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

Herman's Hermits ---
Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.

Ringo Starr ---
I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

The Bee Gees -- -
How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

Roberta Flack---
The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.

Paul Simon ---
Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver.

The Commodores ---
Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

Marvin Gaye ---
Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

Procol Harem---
A Whiter Shade of Hair.

Leo Sayer ---
You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

The Temptations ---
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

Abba ---
Denture Queen.

Tony Orlando ---
Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

Helen Reddy ---
I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

Leslie Gore---
It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To.

And Last but NOT least:

Willie Nelson ---
On the Commode Again.

laugh
Posted by: NucleusG4

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 02:11 PM

RAWR... good ones! grin grin
Posted by: SgtBaxter

Re: hmm..... beg to differ! - 01/28/09 02:13 PM

Originally Posted By: eckhard

When my daughter was born, I was 47 (and her mother 32).


You sly fox... I knew I liked you for a reason smile
Posted by: yoyo52

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 02:16 PM

I knew there were ducks in the picture!
Posted by: DLC

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 02:27 PM

Combine The Temptations ---
Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

AND Johnny Nash ---
I Can't See Clearly Now.


and you get
Tempting Johnny's
I Can't Pee Clearly Now. wink




Posted by: steveg

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 02:28 PM

Go to your room, prevert!
Posted by: steveg

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 02:31 PM

Oh yah. And boobs, too, because there's that "mother figure" thing again. blush crazy
Posted by: steveg

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 02:33 PM

Quote:
Gotta sneak it in the back door.
Um... was that intentional? blush laugh shocked
Posted by: Lea

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 02:49 PM


¿quién, yo?







Posted by: padmavyuha

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 06:08 PM

As a good friend of mine used to say: "when poverty comes knocking at your front door, it's time to consider renting out your back passage..."
Posted by: Lea

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 06:40 PM


Desperate times call for desperate treasures.




Posted by: Celandine

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 07:24 PM

How about a few from the 80's for the Gen X-ers out there...

All I need is a Pacemaker -- Mike and the Mechanics (All I Need is a
Miracle)

Blue Viagra -- Bobby Vinton (Blue Velvet) [NOT from the 80's but I
had the thought and had to write it down]

Bette Davis Dies -- Alannah Myles (Bette Davis Eyes)

Every Other Drug is Hypnogogic -- Sting (Every Little Thing She Does
Is Magic)

Lame (I'm Gonna Limp Forever)-- Irene Cara (Fame--I'm Gonna Live
Forever)

Hell Is Grandchildren -- Pat Benatar (Hell Is For Children)

Hysterectomy -- Def Leppard (Hysteria)

Hemorrhage and a Wattle -- Sting (Message In A Bottle)

Triple Bypass of the Heart -- Bonnie Tyler (Total Eclipse of the
Heart)

Of course, there are a few that are good enough on their own:

Another One Bites The Dust -- Queen

Ashes To Ashes -- David Bowie

Back To Paradise -- .38 Special

Catch Me, I'm Falling -- Real Life

Fade To Grey -- Visage

(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight -- Cutting Crew

Livin' On A Prayer -- Bon Jovi
Posted by: keymaker

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 07:34 PM

Quote:
I can't believe you would have even brought it up if it hadn't involved a gay couple

They've got nothing to do with it... my post was about the age and suitability of grandparents in the case to care for the children.

Quote:
As there was no mention of the piece you've linked to in your original post, the article is.... irrelevant

How does that work? If I mention it it's relevant but if I don't it's not? I don't agree with that... in my opinion the scenario in my post is quite similar to the actual case.

Quote:
Man, you just can't get past the gay thing, huh?

Gay thing? I didn't even mention gays.

Quote:
Gotta sneak it in the back door.

Yeah bit like the grandparents... they were duped with a backdoor stunt as well - now you know how they feel.

km


Posted by: MacBozo

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 08:36 PM

Here in the states, the children would have probably been remanded into their grandparents' care with supervised visits with their mother. If the mother successfully completed rehab and remained clean and sober for what ever time the courts defined, she would eventually regain custody.
Posted by: MrB

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 08:55 PM

I was born in Mar 1945. My mother was born in June 1899 and my father was born in Feb of 1895. You do the math. I was the 12th baby that my mother bore and my oldest sibling was born in 1919. I think they did alright.

dave

Posted by: keymaker

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 09:06 PM

Quote:
Here in the states, the children would have probably been remanded into their grandparents' care with supervised visits with their mother.

That would make a lot of sense... what seems to have happened in this case is that social workers were working to an agenda primarily to help the gay adoptive parents have a family. Stage 1 was to play down the wishes of the children themselves that they be allowed to stay with their grandparents. Stage 2 was to find reasons why the grandparents could be turned down as carers and to persuade them that they were inadequate. Then Stage 3 was to dupe them into signing adoption papers, which would be irreversible, without revealing the sexuality of the adoptive parents. Had it been conducted as a foster care case instead of adoption the arrangements would have been reversible.

km
Posted by: Leslie

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 09:46 PM

Originally Posted By: keymaker
Quote:
You would deprive children of a loving home and grandparents of filling the breech based on the concept that a human being reaches an age when he/she shouldn't be allowed to take care of a child.

Well, adoptive parents can provide a loving home as well.

km


Well, not gay adoptive parents, (that's a given) and especially if they are 49! Gawd knows the world would come to an end.

Better to have 16 years old (or younger) pump out the kids cause they sure as hell have the savvy to rear properly.

Again, lawyer cum comedian.

This is like word-a-day.
Thanks for the Wednesday chuckle.

Posted by: keymaker

Re: Age Concern - 01/28/09 11:33 PM

Quote:
Well, not gay adoptive parents, (that's a given) and especially if they are 49! Gawd knows the world would come to an end.

You guys can't get off this gay trip, right? First yoyo, then Lea and now you. It's not about the world coming to an end but doing what's best for children.

This thread is supposed to be about the suitability of grandparents as carers. If you want to discuss the gay dimension what I said in a previous thread was that the best balance of parental stimuli is provided by parents of both sexes. What the article says is that:

"research shows overwhelmingly that children are best brought up by a mother and father"

If you really want to know more about it, why don't you contact the authors, Graham Grant and Marcello Mega of the Daily Mail?

km
Posted by: steveg

Re: Age Concern - 01/29/09 03:52 AM

Tune in again next week for another episode of AS THE STOMACH TURNS, brought to you by Belchnot Strained Babies... sick
Posted by: keymaker

Re: Age Concern - 01/29/09 09:47 AM

Quote:
And you are basing this newest burst of blinding insight on... What "everyone knows", or what Keymaker knows?

The former - what everyone (in the Child Care Department of Edinburgh Social Services that is) knows - that grandparents are too old and feeble to look after their own grandchildren when there are younger gay couples about... but what 90 per cent of everyone else in Scotland apparently don't know.

km