Kevin the third grader

Posted by: MrB

Kevin the third grader - 08/24/14 01:21 PM

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

"And how about you, Sarah. What do you want?"

"I wanna be Kevin’s whore."
Posted by: Jim_

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/24/14 01:40 PM

I didn't see that coming.

laugh
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/24/14 02:14 PM

"like a loose screen door in a hurricane" made it for me.
Posted by: Stumpy1

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/24/14 04:46 PM

Hoo boy. blush
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/24/14 04:58 PM

Let's turn this into one of those anti-jokes:

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked, scheduled a meeting with the school counselor, the principal and Kevin's parents. She also contacted human services just in case.
Posted by: MrB

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/24/14 06:47 PM

She might want to apply for the job in place of Sarah

Dave
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/24/14 11:59 PM

Starting to sound like an episode of Soap.
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 12:08 AM

Now I know that Post Perry Journey (now that I know there was a Pre-Perry Journey) is kind of on the easy listening end of rock, this strikes me, "Perry's singing has garnered acclaim from prominent musical peers and publications. Queen guitarist Brian May said: "Perry is a truly luminous singer, in my opinion—a voice in a million."[23] Sony record executive, American Idol judge and musician Randy Jackson described Perry's as "the golden voice," and opined that, "Other than Robert Plant, there's no singer in rock that even came close to Steve Perry." "The power, the range, the tone—he created his own style. He mixed a little Motown, a little Everly Brothers, a little Zeppelin."[4] He has been described as "The Voice," a moniker originally coined by friend and former chart peer Jon Bon Jovi."

I mean, jeez.
Posted by: Stumpy1

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 04:18 AM

Well, I don't know how we got from Kevin to Steve Perry, but he certainly was a great singer - stayed on key, very good range (very high tenor), good phrasing. I used to enjoying singing along with the Journey album I've got and noted how few of the higher notes I could hit.

Haven't heard much from him lately. I though I'd heard he had some problem with his voice that kept him from singing.

Whatever he's up to, I wish him the best.

I hope Kevin develops a better set of goals, despite the humor. frown grin
Posted by: NucleusG4

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 04:25 AM

Wow... the earthquake thread got derailed onto Journey tracks.... but Lano took it to a whole new level... errr.... actually a whole different thread. cool eek
Posted by: Jim_

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 04:45 AM

Leave it to Lano to start something. smirk
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 04:51 AM

Ahem. This comes from using my mobile too much. I get confused when looking at such a small screen. I didn't even realize what you were talking about at first. I will be more (cough) careful.
Posted by: Acumowchek

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 06:29 AM

LOL!
Posted by: MrB

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 08:40 AM

Soon we may have oopa loopas banging screen doors in a hurricane

Dave
Posted by: bird

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 09:55 AM

Quote:
Soon we may have "oopa loopas" banging screen doors in a hurricane


Somehow I just can't picture this kid Kevin hanging out with Willy Wonka at the Chocolate Factory grin wink
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 10:06 AM



whoa shocked

...talk about "thread-creep"...
Posted by: Jim_

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 10:12 AM

Lano started it.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 10:36 AM

Originally Posted By: Jim_
Lano started it.

wachu need is a few new smilies:

__________
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 12:32 PM

Originally Posted By: MrB
Soon we may have oopa loopas banging screen doors in a hurricane


This joke is starting to look like a David Lynch movie.
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Fish. blush

Originally Posted By: Jim_
Lano started it.

But, Reboot TOLD me to do it. cry


And once again, I do most of the posting while everyone is asleep and I come back to a slew of posts when I wake up (well a comparative slew for this place).
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 05:42 PM

Originally Posted By: lanovami

And once again, I do most of the posting while everyone is asleep and I come back to a slew of posts when I wake up (well a comparative slew for this place).


yeah, musicalmarv7 has the same "problem".

...think about it.
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 07:43 PM

Originally Posted By: Celandine
..think about it.


Man, I hope you aren't just figuring this out? Yes Cel, a disconnect in time zones and yes, even culture, from being so far away having a possible effect on Marv's posting as it does myself had already occurred to me. The guy has been around for, what, like 5 years? Even before we knew where he was from, I noticed the fact that Marv and I often have posts timed closely to each other.

If you are away from the forum for a few years, it is going to take you a while to get caught up on things, no?

...think about it
Posted by: MrB

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 08:34 PM

For that reason, I miss Carp. I'm up in the wee morning hours quite often and Carp would be still up. Lots of gabbing

Dave
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/25/14 11:56 PM

Yep, Carp was often the only one up (or at least posting) when I was. It is also yesterday for him compared to me, but he is even more behind, which comes out to being only a few hours behind me, but on the previous day. Yep, miss Carp.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 04:54 AM

Originally Posted By: lanovami
Yep, Carp was often the only one up (or at least posting) when I was. It is also yesterday for him compared to me, but he is even more behind, which comes out to being only a few hours behind me, but on the previous day. Yep, miss Carp.


Too bad you decided to smart-arse Treebeard into leaving
again with your sassy (mean) BS about "thought you were
'never coming back'" remark after it took me literally
YEARS to talk him into ever posting here again...

...not only was he in the same Time-Zone and more than
your intellectual match (being the son of, father to,
and husband of a teacher) but ~TA-DA~ the same caring
person who fought over what was happening to people
Losing Their Lives to an Earthquake & Tsunami... DUH!

Shocking that you Never Seemed to Put the 2 Together.

Like I'd asked before: "Was That SNARK Really Necessary?"
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 05:04 AM

Man, you put really me in my place eh? Perhaps you should get out more; because you take this stuff waaaay too seriously.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 06:12 AM


Gah! More Bully-Shyte!
Like having to watch people dish out insults rather
risk being accused of having "...no sense-of-humor"

Similar: "You need to get out more!"
or snark-ier still; "GET A LIFE!"

I'd Love To...
...but for now I've left this apartment 6 times **
in the past 2 months... twice to the ER, and four
more outtings to various follow-up visits (One just
yesterday, thank you smile )

So yeah... I do take the on-line friends left in my life
a-bit-too seriously at times... we also stay in touch by
phone and we even exchange gifts via snail mail.

**oops... I lied.
I was taken to my sister-in-law's funeral last month
...but had to stay in the car during the burial...

...er that's the grounds crew filling in Mary's grave
... I didn't see the grave site until we drove by on
the way out. frown
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 06:43 AM


fyi

his reply was actually;
"Life's too short to waste it on dyck-heads."
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 06:58 AM

Uh huh. I am well aware of your health problems and considered you don't get out as much as you'd like - all the more reason not to take this all so seriously. Call it bullshyte if you like, that's my call.

You may take your online friends left in your life seriously, no worries, but you also take your online enemies pretty seriously too now don't you? Is it that you need an arch-enemy? So soon after Steve's sabbatical? I have zero desire to arch you full time, so can we cease and desist? Move on. Nothing more to see here.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 07:05 AM


Don't need nor ever wanted "an arch"
my point was to let you in on the fact that
your "starting something" whenever you're bored
does more harm than perhaps you're aware of. frown
Posted by: Jim_

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 07:20 AM

Originally Posted By: Celandine
my point was to let you in on the fact that
your "starting something" whenever you're bored
does more harm than perhaps you're aware of. frown
Says the kettle to the pot.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 07:23 AM

Originally Posted By: Jim_
Originally Posted By: Celandine
my point was to let you in on the fact that
your "starting something" whenever you're bored
does more harm than perhaps you're aware of. frown
Says the kettle to the pot.


back atcha
Posted by: Jim_

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 07:27 AM

Originally Posted By: Celandine
Too bad you decided to smart-arse Treebeard into leaving
again with your sassy (mean) BS about "thought you were
'never coming back" remark
If that's all it took to drive someone away, a joking tongue-in-cheek comment from one person, he's a lot more thin skinned than I ever thought he would be.

Kind of surprising for a tough Aussie.
Posted by: Jim_

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 07:29 AM

What do you mean back at you. I'm not the one accusing everybody, you are. Just chill out.
Posted by: Pirate

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 07:54 PM

I knew I heard that one somewhere...sure enough I use to do it on stage

Posted by: Acumowchek

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 08:47 PM

LOLOLOL!
I prefere your version, pirate. smile
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/26/14 11:02 PM

Way to rerail guys. This one is better. Cleaner, of course, but jokes are always better when told by someone - someone who is good at setting up the joke anyway.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/27/14 02:31 AM


GOOD ON YA'!

IMO, WA-A-AY Funnier

Like Bill Cosby sez;
You don't have to be filthy to be funny. smile
Posted by: Pirate

Re: Kevin the third grader - 08/27/14 05:29 AM

Got a bunch more clean ones on my youtube channel.....some old stuff I use on stage...still getting chuckles after all these years