Blond men

Posted by: KateSorensen

Blond men - 11/18/13 08:41 PM

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A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

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Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

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A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

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A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

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A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."

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A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ." He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

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A blond man shouts frantically into the phone. "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the doctor. "No," he shouts, "this is her husband!"

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A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"

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A blond man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies.

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A blond man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck," says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

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(This one actually makes sense...sort of...LOL) An Italian tourist asks a blond man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.


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Posted by: Nana

Re: Blond men - 11/18/13 09:13 PM

laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh
Posted by: Stumpy1

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 02:36 AM

Hahahahah! laugh
Posted by: MrB

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 04:25 AM

These are cute, but I wonder why one needs to call them "blond man" jokes when either just "blond" will do in most of these and in the rest just "man" will do.

Loved the one about the air freshener in the car.

Dave
Posted by: yoyo52

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 08:12 AM

I resemble that!

And I'm not even blond. frown wink
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 08:12 AM

.
I know I'm gonna' catch heat for this answer
...but here goes...
Because "BLOND MEN" is a Double Whammy wink

kinda' like "DUMB BLOND"...
(who's universally assumed to be a WOMAN)

Doan worry if you Don't Get It
It helps see it from OUR PoV. whistle
Posted by: DLC

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 08:20 AM

The TeaParty* did it !! grin

(* blonds on blond)
Posted by: MacBozo

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 02:15 PM

Formerly blond, now gray. And, no, I was never even close to being stupid. I'm a geek/nerd!
Posted by: lanovami

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 02:23 PM

I am formerly blonde, now bald.

This was my favorite one

A blond man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blond man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."

heh.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 04:02 PM

Originally Posted By: MacBozo
Formerly blond, now gray. And, no, I was never even close to being stupid. I'm a geek/nerd!

Treebeard sez the same thing..
..true dat..
...seen enough piccies to prove it.
Posted by: MrB

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 08:23 PM

Yes, it's a shame that when one hears "blond" they think of woman. But then one doesn't normally think of a man when one hears "brunette" either. Now "red head" is a little different. I know that the Celtic nba team had the the "Big Red Head" in Dave Cowens the center

Dave
Posted by: yoyo52

Re: Blond men - 11/19/13 08:44 PM

I think that hair-color descriptions refer to women unless otherwise specified for the same reason that Sarah Palin says that Hilary Clinton was treated unfairly when she ran for president. Women tend to be judged by and seen in relation to how they look--and that includes hair color. I don't always agree with Ms. Palin (now there is an understatement!!) but she nailed this one.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Blond men - 11/20/13 01:18 AM


In the case of "Being BLOND"
it's not just a color of hair
but also a state of mind...
...or rather A Lack Thereof... crazy

"A Dumb Blond" = a Cliche' for
WEAKminded Women... Hang
that moniker on a man & you'd
meet with instant resentment,
or an outright "Pack o' Fives" mad
Posted by: Mike

Re: Blond men - 11/21/13 06:29 AM

Not funny!! grin
Posted by: KateSorensen

Re: Blond men - 11/21/13 09:05 AM

Not meant for ALL blond men.
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Blond men - 11/21/13 10:11 AM


I LOVED Dolly Parton's rely when asked
if it bothered her to be associated
with the "Dumb Blond" stereotype

She replied;
"No... because
A) I'm NOT Dumb &
B) I'm NOT Blonde"