Why macminute sucks

Posted by: OSXaddict

Why macminute sucks - 12/04/05 06:04 AM

So I take a break and spend time doing other things and thought I would come back here and share our great news about the house selling.<br><br>Of course someone, who doesn't have the balls to post as themselves, uses a name they registered and posts a totally insensitive post. <br><br>No attack was made by me or anyone else in my thread..yet this jackass decides to play sockpuppet and post something like that.<br><br>Yeah..welcome back to MacMinute. Things haven't changed. I can probably guess who it might be that posted that and I hope that Stan gets my email and does something about it. <br><br>Sure sure...I'm sure 2 or 3 people will make some post either here or in a new thread saying that I'm this and that or whatever...but the fact remains that what was posted in my thread was beyond good taste.<br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Word of advice - 12/04/05 02:10 PM

I agree that the "Dusty" post is out of line. And probably perpetrated by whomever you suspect. But in fact, it's exactly the kind of crack that should be ignored. It speaks for itself in that most people will find it as repulsive and inappropriate as you do.<br><br>But to whine openly about it. Cast a blanket judgement on the forum et al, and announce that you've run to the "principal" is just plain juvenile. Ignore it, John. Rise above it. Way better than foot stomping and walking off. Again.<br><br>Just my .02.<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Word of advice - 12/04/05 03:34 PM

Thanks Steve and I am sure you are right..but it is hard to ignore.<br>And my "blanket judgement" was more saying that due to some individuals they make the whole place stink. <br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Word of advice - 12/04/05 03:39 PM

It only stinks if you pay attention to it.<br><br>
Posted by: Trog

Re: Word of advice - 12/04/05 04:59 PM

Right, no blanket statements. It wouldn't be fair to you, or your family, to just say "Kentucky sucks" because there happen to be some racist rednecks there. <br><br>Just ignore the jerks and trouble-makers like iRock and focus on the really cool members like me!<br><br>
Posted by: iRock

Re: Word of advice - 12/04/05 05:03 PM

<br><br>oh yeah, that's going in the blog
Posted by: Trog

Re: Word of advice - 12/04/05 05:23 PM

I...uh...ummm... nothing!<br><br>
Posted by: G4Dualie

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 12:31 AM

How many times have you heard that the most appropriate way to deal with rude people is to ignore them and they'll go away? Yeah? Well don't hold your breath. <br><br>Those who would offer this kind of advice rationalize their behavioral response as taking the high ground, and that by not feeding into this reprehensible behavior, it will somehow diminish it's presence and the capacity to influence. Or, perhaps in a perfect world, an intelligent, quick-witted, verbal reaction to rude behavior will be so profound, these mean-spirited people will see the error of their ways and make a life-altering change to their psyche. Yeah, right, when pigs fly.<br><br>To use the playground metaphor, I was bullied by a bully for weeks. He not only enjoyed the control-by-torment, but fed off the laughs from onlookers, who did more to escalate the situation than anything I ever did.<br><br>Nothing says enough like a fat lip. <br><br>No one could have intervened on my behalf, not the administrators, my parents, or my friends. This was between him and I and if I wanted the torment to stop, I had to show him I wasn't going to be a doormat to his enjoyment any longer. So I slugged him and he retreated in shock and bleeding from the mouth, and when I stepped forward to get mine, he turned and ran and in that instant he became the goat and my popularity skyrocketed.<br><br>Sadly, schoolyard justice doesn't exist here in the forums. On the contrary, cowards who hide behind their anonymity, spewing their hate go unchecked because the moderators are ill-prepared to deal with these situations and the members are told if you ignore it, they will move on. How does that figure? What does that mean? That this depraved individual will retire the sock if no one responds to his hate? Tell that to those brutalized by the Nazi's. I say make a stand against rude and mean behavior.<br><br>Only after an overwhelming response from a consensus do the moderators even bother to step in and when they do, their response is swift and terminal. No second chances... until this pervert reappears under a new user-name and plays nice until his rage manifests itself once again and we allow it.<br><br>No, loathe to intervene, moderators who can count the number of minutes on one hand spent in these forums on any given day, have no real appreciation for the way these puss-filled aberrations resurface and fight the urge to contain themselves until they eventually succumb to their wanton desire to shít the bed.<br><br>I am not suggesting the moderators spend more time interacting with the membership, in fact the less we see of them the better, however there is probably more that could be done to preclude this offensive behavior. In fact, a zero-tolerance for mean and rude behavior is necessary in any society. But, as long as people stick their collective heads in sand these bullies will continue to thrive.<br><br>Where I come from, we know mean and rude behavior when we see it and it isn't tolerated. It's exposed for what it is. Of course this place hardly compares to my hometown but if you hang out here long enough, you can find many more similarities than differences.<br><br>Online forums can do more to reduce the propensity for some to slap on a puppet and blast away with their hateful alter-egos. I think a ban on multiple user-names issued to a single individual should be implemented. I'm not a geek, nor have I given it much thought, so I wouldn't know how that could be accomplished. Personally, I'd like to see the internet equivalent of the social security number and until something like it is adopted there will be no accountability. When you think about it, anyone who thinks they're online persona isn't a sock puppet is kidding themselves, unless of course you're like me and uses the same user-name in every forum he belongs to...<br><br>Beyond that, one has to ask one's self, what are we doing to mitigate these attacks. Responding to hate with hate or hurtful criticism won't solve this problem and only establishes an adversarial relationship with the attacker. Confronting someone who is rude in a public forum may only serve to reinforce their role as the antagonist. However, if done privately, it will enable your attacker to save face while allowing you to document your desire to defuse the situation before it escalates into a pissing contest.<br><br>We all have bad days and at times say things we regret and all too often these manifestations are symptoms of personal troubles that require introspection. If allowed however, these small personal problems can fester and take on a life of their own, to the point where we no longer own them, or have the ability to reel them in, and are branded as a malcontent. <br><br>So before that is allowed to happen we need to step in and ask, "You know, you seem to be having a bad day, is everything alright?" or "Have I done something to offend you?", but done on a personal level, and not publicly in order to defuse the situation and change the dynamic in a non-offensive way.<br><br>So to those who say ignore it, I say don't, not if you value the quality of life in these forums. It is incumbent on all of us to throw a spotlight on rude behavior and expose it for what it is. Say and do nothing and you let the frustration build to the boiling point, which always ends in alienation and we all come away with a hollow feeling that nothing was resolved and is a disservice to us all.<br><br>Peace.<br><br><br>M i c h a e l (OFI)<br><br>[color:red]"Freedom's untidy. And free people are free to commit mistakes, and to commit crimes and do bad things." — Donald Rumsfeld</font color=red>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 12:51 AM

Helluva campaign speech! But I totally disagree with you. Ignoring doesn't have anything to do with a real or implied "high road". It has to do with basic, proven child psychology. Neither brat nor bully will stay on task if they're getting no response from their audience. Maybe they'll dial up their activity at first, but still lacking a reaction, will move on.<br><br>Natcherly, it's up to each individual how they handle these types of situations. But, IMHO, any attempt to engage a tormentor in a dialog only validates their behavior and perpetuates the problem. The sudden realization that "I've been sooo bad and will now be a kinder gentler soul" is great for a TV mini-series, but in meatspace? Meh...<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 12:56 AM

wow..good post there G4dualie! I agree but the only problem is...this person is too weak to face me with his real ID. I can only guess who it may be, but rather than make a bad assumption, I would rather this person PM me and confess...but you know that's not going to happen.<br><br>I love coming to Macminute and communicating with the majority of the people here. If I hadn't ever come here, I would never got the opportunity to meet Carp! Or share a drink and dinner with Morom. Or develop a warm friendship with someone on the other side of the world (Waleed) and continue talking with him. <br><br>It's a shame that there is one or two people here who give this place a bad taste in my mouth. And moderation...heh..forget about it. Stan is too busy I guess.<br><br>G4, I want to continue discussing with you about that business we discussed other places...PM me please!<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 01:01 AM

Actually Steve, the best thing is NOT to ignore negative behavior (but also NOT to feed into it and send it back) but to give clear and logical consequences for their behavior. Good behavior gets positive feedback...negative gets a consequence.<br><br>But then again..we aren't dealing with children. It's adults here for the most part (I don't know of anyone under 18, though there isn't a problem with that) and we aren't in the same space, so ignoring or giving choices from those of us who have no control over the boards has no impact on the person. <br><br>My question to you is..have you ever seen it work? Here or any place else online?<br><br>I haven't.<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute - 12/05/05 01:02 AM

Oh..and I really wish I could change "sucks" to something else because I don't think MM sucks, but just some people.<br><br>
Posted by: G4Dualie

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 01:12 AM

We can agree to disagree then. <br><br>I don't subscribe to your brand of "basic, proven child psychology", if there is such a thing, especially in this day and age. Ignore the problems and they'll go away, right? That's great, that just means you don't have to do anything. You can sit back and watch as another person self-destructs.<br><br>You promote alienation, I don't. Words have meaning or they don't.<br><br>But, IMHO, any attempt to engage a tormentor in a dialog only validates their behavior and perpetuates the problem.<br><br>Hmmm, let's see where else can we apply that kind of logic?<br><br><br><br><br>M i c h a e l (OFI)<br><br>[color:red]"Freedom's untidy. And free people are free to commit mistakes, and to commit crimes and do bad things." — Donald Rumsfeld</font color=red>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 01:13 AM

I've seen it work many times in the real world. Not here, because the tactic has never been practiced accross the entire constituancy.<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 01:17 AM

Well, it's something definately not taught at places like Boys Town or similar such places.<br><br>
Posted by: Anonymous

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 01:31 AM

<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr><p> . . . the tactic has never been practiced across the entire constituancy.<p><hr></blockquote><p>And therein lies the rub. It's just human nature. I know I've been way guilty of aggravatin' dustups in other places. Hell, I kinda enjoy a good fight.<br><br>But this instance is different. It's one thing to attack a member, but it's unbelievably mean spirited to attack a member's family. It was a really, really low post. The sorry thing is that the puke that did it probably feels no shame and is actually enjoyin' the attention. <br><br>You can't reason with a cretin like this with a PM.<br><br>Sheesh, what a slime. He really needs his chain yanked permanently.<br><br>And NO SS type of registration for board membership! The forums sometimes degenerate into bloody free-for-alls, but it's still the last free frontier. I'd rather put up with the occasional a$$hole than give up my sense of independence.<br><br><br><br><br>[color:blue]And I'm the one that jaded you . . .</font color=blue>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 01:34 AM

Alienation? I don't think so. It's much more effective to demonstrate that inappropriate behavior gets you nowhere than to preach about it. Problems like this don't go away unless then people who cause them either go away or stop. And people like this aren't interested in being lectured. They just stick their fingers in their ears and do the LALALALALA thing.<br><br>So yes, we'll agree to disagree, and I won't mischaracterize you if you don't me. But maybe you can expand on this: <blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr><p>Hmmm, let's see where else can we apply that kind of logic?<p><hr></blockquote><p>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 01:45 AM

Well, this isn't Boys Town, where people have to interact in the flesh. This is a cocoon of anonymity where there really are no tangible consequences for bad behavior, and it's too easy to just log off before you have to deal with actual confrontation.<br><br>
Posted by: sean

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 02:34 AM

i tend to agree with you. i think many adults know how to use words to hurt people they "know" (know being relative here online). if you know you can hurt someone then having them ignore your behavior doesn't stop the fact that you can irritate the targeted person. on the other hand, i don't think there's any standard policy that will work beyond moderators doing the trick.<br><br>--<br>"I am mindful that diversity is one of the strengths of the country" --president bush on 9/27/05
Posted by: MacGizmo

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 03:37 PM

I won't pretend to know what the "real father" comment was about, I can only assume (by your and other's response) that it was pretty nasty.<br><br>Look, we all know who the sock puppets are here, they're the same 3 people as always. Best to just avoid them. Stan (if he's even still alive) isn't going to do anything and there's really not much he can do because it's just as easy to change your IP address as it is for Stan to ban them. Your only option is to simply ignore.<br><br>In any case, congrats on selling the house. I know what a pain in the arse it is to have to sell, move into a temp house, then move into your final purchased home. Adding that one move in the middle is the pain, but it also gives you the time to look around and find what you really want, rather than taking the first decent thing that comes along. Good luck.<br><br>
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 04:05 PM

<br>I'll go along with Mr. Dualie's Approach:<br><br>Since it's fairly obvious that the other method hasn't worked so far.<br><br>What's wrong with how the situation is being handled RIGHT NOW?<br><br>This is NOT one of the Famous "In-Crowd-Gang-Ups" on a member,<br>but rather a consensus of members that have been tired of being<br>forced to to endure the despicable behavior of a single member that <br>has finally crossed what should have stayed an uncrossable line.<br><br>If you don't think it's working: Check it out... No Carpet Bombing<br><br><br>And to answer the Other Burning Question:<br><br>The solution is what MacGizmo & myself have been asking for:<br><br>DIFFERENT SOFTWARE! One of the MANY benefits would include<br>using an Unspoofable Activation Key & Registering your IP when<br>joining a forum. I belong to a few such forums, The only "freedom"<br>you lose ~~~ is the Freedom to Act-Out like a Cowardly Arsehole.<br><br><br><br>
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 04:14 PM

<br>Sure, <br>for the time being, Ignoring is what we're stuck with.<br>...Shunning would probably be even more effective....<br><br>But as long as people wink & smirk & wave it on,<br>it will simple continue to continue until the rest of <br>the best choose to leave in frustration and disgust.<br><br><br><br>
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 04:58 PM

<br>BTW G4 (...er may I call you by your first name?)<br><br>That was a Prize Post <br><br>You're one of the many good members I've been missing.<br><br><br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 05:13 PM

And in the meantime, look at the play one sick post has gotten. With all this attention, whoever the schmuck is, he or she must really be feeling the warmth of celebrity. Which brigs me back to my preference to simply ignore this kind of sh!t. <br><br>Sure there are some that you might be able to reason with. But they're easy to spot because they stay in the thread and keep posting. They're leaving a door open to spin the dialog in a positive direction. But these one-off stink-bombs leave no option but to ignore.<br><br>But, as in this case, the more dramatics, the more validation the poster feels.<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 08:52 PM

With all this attention, whoever the schmuck is, he or she must really be feeling the warmth of celebrity. <br><br>If this is how they get their kicks..then they are sick. <br><br>Stan emailed me back and said that it was taken care of...but I don't see anything different. <br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 09:03 PM

What would you expect to see? Lightning? Hosannahs from yonder mountain top?<br><br>If anyone you may have suspected is still here, it just indicates that your suspicions were wrong. Or someone merely got a slap on the wrist. If he or she is gone, that's all that matters.<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 09:04 PM

The post is still there. I asked him to delete it and to delete this one too.<br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 09:06 PM

That might take a day or two.<br><br>
Posted by: MacGizmo

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 09:14 PM

Ahhh so Stan IS still alive! Well John, I suppose he meant that he would take care of it just as soon as the new software is up and running <br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 09:19 PM

eh..it doesn't take anything more than a click of a link or something..not very long at all. <br><br>But then again....he did reply with "Done!"<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 09:21 PM

Yeah, that's happening realsoonnow <br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 09:24 PM

All I know is that I've asked to have certain posts or threads deleted in the past, and it's taken a day or 2.<br><br>For now, just put a piece of black tape on your display where the thread is.<br><br>
Posted by: ezyrider

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 11:11 PM

Wow, I haven't checked in here for a while due to family stuff and being super busy at work. But that attack on you was waaaay out of line. I'd gladly hunt that f*cker down and cut off his digits so he can't type such hatred anymore. What a scum bag! I have a real hard time ignoring such things too. Fortunately the good outweigh the bad in this forum so hopefully Stan will get rid of that a-hole.<br><br>BTW, I haven't forgot about the red jalapenos. I like to let 'em age for about a month after I pickle them and they are just about ready. I still have your info so expect a package soon.<br><br>
Posted by: Celandine

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 11:22 PM

Did you catch the fact that he's moving? <br>I don't know any details, but I don't want<br>your lovingly pickled peppers in limbo.<br><br>
Posted by: polymerase

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 11:28 PM

please put proper postage on piquantly prepared pickled peppers.<br><br>(__*__) <-- circular sig when standing
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/05/05 11:50 PM

Hey! Thanks for remembering! I'll PM you an address to use since we will be moving at the end of this month.<br><br>I have communicated with Stan and he said that the "Dusty" ID is banned and that he would delete the post.<br><br>
Posted by: ezyrider

Re: Why macminute sucks - 12/06/05 04:27 AM

Thanks for the heads up. I read that thread and rather than get the important info...like John is moving...I ignore that and want to go kick some a$$. I've been very stressed out lately. I'll pay more attention to what I read next time. <br><br>