This is the question…

Posted by: Optimus_George

This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:02 PM

<br><br>
Posted by:

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:15 PM

Is she rich?<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:31 PM

Nope.<br><br>
Posted by:

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:33 PM

Are you?<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:35 PM

I'm not asking for me... I'm asking for a friend.<br><br>
Posted by: hayesk

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:36 PM

Error: Insufficient data.<br><br><br>
Posted by: Pete

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:39 PM

Yeah, like divorce why- because she's a cheating slut or because she left the cap off the toothpaste?<br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
Posted by: MacGizmo

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:43 PM

Deeevorce is a sin!<br><br>
Posted by:

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:45 PM

Get divorced, then dress up as a fat old English lady and become your kids' nanny. It'll be an uproarious adventure! At least Joel Siegel will think so.<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:47 PM

It involved another guy/guys (not sure) and many, many late nights / early mornings. She's apologized many times. But I don't think I can forgive and forget that easily... I mean my friend. I feel unsure of pretty much everything we had. And there's a daughter involved.<br><br>
Posted by: Pete

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:50 PM

Bottom line is the trust will never be there again, if it's one incident or 100.<br><br>It's actually *better* for the child if two people in that type of situation go their separate ways...<br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
Posted by:

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 12:54 PM

First things first... Give your—I mean your friend's—home theater and computer equipment to me—I mean my friend. Once that's out of the way and safe, I'll tell you—I mean your friend—where to go from there.... I mean here. I mean.... <br><br>
Posted by: iRock

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 01:09 PM

Really sorry for your friend George. Please don't think every woman is like this. I hope it gets resolved as painlessly as possible although I realize that rarely happens. Maybe some advice/counseling would help. I hope everyone stresses to the child she is loved.<br><br>
Posted by: Bryan

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 01:41 PM

Well, since there is a kid involved, I'm not sure I would divorce right away. If she cheated once, I don't think I would walk over that. Maybe some counseling. <br><br>But if she did 38 guys over the course of 6 months, I'd kick her to the curb faster than you could say "Jennifer Lopez."<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 01:46 PM

I know... I know... but I'm not even sure I want to go back anyhow.... I'M SO CONFUSED!!! <br><br>
Posted by: Pete

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 01:48 PM

'go back'...and.....um...<br><br>...tell your friend to leave her? <br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 01:53 PM

Are you speaking with experience? It's like I've been saying... the thing that went on isn't what really bugs me... it's that at the end of the day... when things may have been ironed out... she left for the night again... that was very hurtful...<br><br>
Posted by: Bryan

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 01:56 PM

A married woman "goes out" without her husband? Where? To do other dudes?<br><br>No way I'd tolerate that.....I mean, if I were married (hahahhahaaha,) I'd want my wife (hahahahahaha) to have her own independence and do whatever she wants. But if she's sleeping around, F dat. I'd set her things on the porch and call a divorce lawyer. <br><br><br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 01:59 PM

I have a consultation tomorrow. WOOT!?!?<br><br>
Posted by: Bryan

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 02:02 PM

Used to be, the only thing you had to worry about with infidelity was emotions. <br><br>HIV is coming on with a vengeance...no chick is worth that. My guess is she's walking all over you because she thinks she can get away with it. Time for Mrs. Optimus George to get a little reality check...<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 02:04 PM

Mrs. Optimus George. That's quite funny... <br><br>
Posted by: RubenC

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 02:39 PM

I have a couple of friends who have gone through divorce, one involved a child and in both cases the woman wanted out. In a nutshell, both were unhappy in the beginning but opted to move on. Today each of my friends re-married and say it was the best thing that could have happened to them.<br><br>Sounds like your friends wife has a problem with commitment, and seems to be in complete denile, ... and I don't mean Egypt. <br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 02:40 PM

It's easy to say "divorce her" or "stay with her" by posting it on here. But the fact is, we really don't know you or her and the whole situation.<br><br>Just from what you describe, it sounds like she goes out against your wishes. I'm not understanding something...does she say anything when she leaves? What time does she go and does she stay out ALL night long? Does she say anything when she gets back? Do you ask her?<br><br>How old is your daughter? Man..do I feel sorry for her.<br><br>If you choose the divorce route, keep track of her coming and going. <br><br>Sorry you are going through this. I'm sure it's hard.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 03:54 PM

My answer:<br><br>Both the husband and wife should do everything in their power to work it out. Short of murder, there are few problems that can't be overcome IF both people are comitted to making the relationship work.<br><br>After re-reading the thread, I'll add this to the mix.<br>DO NOT kill yourself in trying to compensate for the failure of the other person. Again, both the man and woman have to make the effort. If she's stepping out, there has to be a reason. Discover it. Work it out if you can. <br>It's one thing when it's a man and woman. When there is a child... all I can say is that it's a terrible thing for a child to lose their family. <br>You sound like you're going through what I went through. short of super human powers, I did everthing I could plus more, but she was only interested in herself. The damage to me and her child was secondary and that damage was considerable. <br><br>Man, I'm feeling you. I really am. Do your best, because at the end of the day, at least you will never second guess if you tried enough.<br><br><P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1><EM>Edited by skuldugary on 03/10/05 07:01 PM (server time).</EM></FONT></P>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 03:58 PM

[censored] of her. I guess I'm not committed to making it work. I'm just drained of it all.<br><br>
Posted by: iRock

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 04:25 PM

The only thing you can change about other people is your attitude.<br><br>
Posted by: MikeSellers

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 04:45 PM

My opinion, for what it's worth.<br><br>Every decision made in this type of situation should be based on what's best for the child. If both parties are able to maintain a civil relationship, stay together, even if it means both grow ulcers the size of softballs. They can always split when the kid leaves home and is better able to deal with it. The loss of day-to-day contact with the child will cause much greater pain than any betrayal. <br><br>If the atmosphere is hostile and abusive from both sides, then split.<br><br>If the betrayer is able to maintain civility, then the betrayee must suck it up and do the same. The reward will come later.<br><br>
Posted by: Bryan

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 05:10 PM

By the way, how old is the kid?<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 05:32 PM

5 years old. 13 years would make for quite a huge ulcer.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 05:56 PM

I understand, and have experienced that same feeling. But... that's how you feel now. Consider how you'll feel down the road.<br><br>Just as one example:<br>Consider how you'll feel when your child tells you about how they had a bad dream and you weren't there to comfort them. <br>I've lived this, so I can tell you is hurts.<br><br>Now, I'm not saying to put up with being treated like dirt, if your wife isn't willing to make the effort. Don't throw away your selfrespect, but carefully consider what's self respect and what is pride and which of them is driving your actions.<br><br>What happens is partially out of your control. How you effect what happens, is not.<br><br>What ever path you choose, you have to be at peace with it for years to come. If you feel you can have no happiness in your life as long as you are with this woman, that she can never rebuild your trust in her, etc, then it leaves you little options.<br><br>What does your wife say about her actions, or is she pissing in your ear and telling you it's raining?<br><br><br>
Posted by: Pete

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 06:10 PM

I guess counseling would be an option- not sure if that's already been attempted.<br><br>My parents went through all this- not with the same details, but ultimately the end result was divorce. I can't say, as the child, I was all too pleased with the result but they apparently needed to split to find happiness. One person is never going to want it as much as the other- maybe the threat needs to be there in order to get past this.<br><br>Have you threatened at all? Maybe, like Bryan said, she needs a 'reality check'.<br><br>Bottom line is to do what's in your heart, not what any of us tell you to do.<br><br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 06:11 PM

The thing is, I've given her chances to change and to come clean with our marital issues and she's turned away multiple times. I especially remember when I told her she meant enough for me to try to get past it (this was after staying out until 1:00 PM at the guy's house) (unknown to me at the time) and we should get counseling and try to make it work. Two days later she was with the guy again until after 6:00 AM or so. She did variations of this a couple times. It was only when the guy didn't "like" her anymore that she felt sorry for what she did.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 06:13 PM

Mike is right and there can't be enough stress on the part about being civil. <br>If you can both be supportive of the child and are nasty to eachother then you have a foundation to move forward. <br><br>Let me be very frank with you, and I'll just say that you should keep in mind that when I say 'you' I'm refering to both husband and wife.<br>If by accident or not, doesn't matter how you had a child. What does matter is that you brought a new person into this world. You made an unspoken promise to provide a mother and father, give balance, wisdom, emotional shelter, and safety. <br>As the childs father, you'd charge into a burning building to save that child at the cost of your own life. You'd donate an organ, you'd work 2, 3, 5 jobs to put food in her mouth. You are her shield. <br>So, how much different are all those drastic and deadly challenges from dealing with and coming to terms with one person?<br><br>don't get me wrong. I don't want to make you feel that if you don't cut off a limb, you're not doing enough. Instead, look at what you can do, do it, and if the other person doesn't do the same, well then, your next task is to make the life for you and your daughter as full and rewarding as possible.<br><br>
Posted by: Pete

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 06:15 PM

There's no reason or possible excuse for a married woman to be hanging out with another guy. Reverse roles and ask yourself if she would tolerate *you* doing the same thing...<br><br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 06:15 PM

Do you know what's driving her to do this? She's either looking for something she doesn't think she can find at home, or she's running away from something.<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 06:28 PM

I don't know. I'm guessing whatever it is she's finding it there. It was enough of a draw after the 4th second chance.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/10/05 06:48 PM

That's part of the problem. Not that it's directly on your shoulders, but how can a problem be fixed if the cause is a mystery?<br><br>Since we've come this far down the path, I'll entrude into your world a bit more by suggesting that you ask her. The answer won't feel good, but it's a place to start. <br><br>Some people who have affiars are very much like those who commit suicide. They do it because they have fallen in to a hole so deep they can't see a way out. They don't see the people around them who are more than willing to help, or the value of the people and life they are giving up. And because of that, they aren't very open to listen at first. But if, and I mean if becuse I don't want to fill you with false hope, but if they do begin to listen they can turn around. <br><br>It's possible your wife has a lot to say. I suggest that you say little or nothing at all. Simply ask questions. Not attacking or cornering. More like 'what is missing' 'what are you looking for' You'll know better than anyone, but she might not be ready for you to fix it, but again, if her problem is about you, home, picking noses, or whatever, at least you know more than before. <br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 05:09 AM

Well, I asked last night and I received two answers for both of her actions.<br><br>Question: Why do you go out all the time? What is it you find there? <br>Answer: Socialization. I love to socialize.<br><br>Join a sewing club. The horrible thing is, the dive/bar is NOT a good place to socialize. And the people there are an unsavory lot.<br><br>Question: Why did you do whatever with the other guy?<br>Answer: He was a flirt, but deep down inside he seemed to be a nice guy.<br><br>That seemed to me that it wasn't so much a problem with me, as it was a need on her part. Like her feelings towards our family didn't even matter. I don't know how to take that one.<br><br>
Posted by: Bryan

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 05:25 AM

Dude...this chick is out of control. Just by what you're describing, she's making it alllll about her. She's acting like she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. <br><br>Sorry, lady......but when you get married, and have a kid....cruising the bars is over. Period. <br><br>
Posted by:

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 05:37 AM

I've been to this bar that she frequents. It's not the Ritz Carlton by any stretch of the imagination. I illustrate the quality of atmosphere and regulars like this: It's like a bus station that serves drinks.<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 05:50 AM

I think that my confusion lies with my daughter and making sure she's alright through all of this. I know where I am, but it has to be okay with the little girl too. Poor thing. Though she's having a ball at gramma's house...<br><br>
Posted by: Bryan

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 05:56 AM

Yeah...that's tough. <br><br><br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 06:52 AM

I'm a little confused. <br>She's out all the time to socialize and she's seeing some guy because he's nice?<br><br>Does she think that you don't know what's going on? And yet she feels the need to lie?<br><br>I'm sure there was more to your conversation. I don't know if you learned enough to determine what direction to go. If not, I might suggest that since your daughter is staying somewhere else, you use this weekend to travel somewhere with your wife. Remove yourselves from the day to day enviorment, and spend the weekend having it out. Not fighting. But frank and direct talk. <br>Give her a reality check. Does she understand the hurt and damage she'll put on her daughter? Losing a husband that's been by her side for years. A rare quality. And like that.<br><br>If you decide it's not worth the sodding trouble, then you can chose to act strongly. Get a restraining order. Move her stuff into a storage unit and prepay for one month. Change the locks. Shut down any shared bank accounts and credit cards. <br>This can all be done in a single day. When she shows up, hand her the keys to the storage unit, a copy of the restraining order, and tell her you will absolutly have the order enforced if she does not keep her distance.<br><br>This is only my opinion, but when two people are married, they're married. they share, give and take, nurture and help each other. But if one of them decides to share themselves with someone else, it's a whole new ball game. <br>Why should you be a bank, resturant, and Motel 6, for someone who doesn't want anything to do with you?<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 07:03 AM

<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr><p>Why should you be a bank, resturant, and Motel 6, for someone who doesn't want anything to do with you?<p><hr></blockquote><p>That's exactly how I feel.<br><br>
Posted by: nutty

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 07:05 AM

my brother is doing this with his cheating wife too.<br><br>lose the cheating spouse and go grab yourself a 20 year old!<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 07:17 AM

I took your advice and grabbed a 20 year old. She slapped me and now I'm being charged with harassment.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 07:46 AM

Do you think there's any way your wife would be interested in saving the marriage?<br><br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 07:52 AM

I'm sure she is. She had it good. The bills were taken care of. There was a roof over her head. She got to see our daughter when SHE wanted to and be a wife when SHE wanted to. All while going out and "socializing" which she did at her leisure. I'm not interested in that.<br><br>
Posted by: Pete

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 07:55 AM

You've already relayed the endless amount of 'second chances'- time to get tough.<br><br>That lock-changing thing doesn't sound like such a bad idea. If she needs a place to stay, the 'nice guy' has a couch right?<br><br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 07:59 AM

That's the thing... the nice guy doesn't "want" her now either. It's a very farked up thing. But she has remained in contact with him. That doesn't show signs of stopping. I have to get tough. I am being used as a door mat.<br><br>
Posted by: Pete

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 08:09 AM

Oh, so you're the 'second' choice? News flash- you are the HUSBAND. <br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
Posted by: SparkCollector

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 09:10 AM

<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr><p>"That lock-changing thing doesn't sound like such a bad idea."<p><hr></blockquote><p><br>Bad idea. It's probably not legal for you to just change the locks. She's an established resident, and just as in a landlord/tenant case, there are procedures that must be followed.<br><br>I was a doormat—off and on for about 7 years—with a girl I wanted to marry. I sure wish I had all that time back that I spent being the "good guy who always listened." I was such a dope.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 09:11 AM

I'm saying this as my opinion. You have to accept the responsibility for what you do. We all want the best for you, but it's your life and you know better than any of us.<br><br>That being said, dude, it's time to dump that bitch. If she's using you as a way station until this other guy wants her back, oh F that! Throw her out, change the locks, nail the bank and credit card accounts and tell her she can call you from the local motor lodge. <br><br>I really want to see you guys work it out, but it sounds like she's just taking advantage of your love for her until she finds something else better. Uh uh. that's not fair to you and your daughter. <br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 09:47 AM

It's different in different states. If he files a restraining order, he can change them. If she wants access to her material goods, she can set up an appointment to collect her things. He should have a witness who will observe her while she's there. <br><br>This is why it would be better to have a mover show up today, cart her crap out of there and put it in storage. <br><br>If the house is in both names, that's handled down the road. <br><br>The law says that if one party willingly leaves the property, i.e., she goes to stay with her mother, boyfriend, whoever, they don't have access to the property to freely come and go.<br>But, he'll have to check his local laws. Just calling the cops would tell him, if they know their stuff. They handle domestic stuff all the time.<br><br>
Posted by: SparkCollector

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 09:50 AM

But remember that police aren't allowed to give any legal advice. They just clean up messes.<br><br>
Posted by: Biggerfoot

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 09:59 AM

Letting go is always easier said than done. I have had to follow the restraining order, change the locks, etc. route before. It was hard to make the final decision but once I did, it was easy to follow though. I feel it made me a better person. Although it was many, many years ago, I can not even think how terrible my life would be now if I had not done it.<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 10:29 AM

I have a lawyer consult today. I'll see what my options are.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 10:44 AM

True, but they hate cleaning up messes and more often than not will give you the 'low low' unoffically to save them from having to come out in the first place.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 10:49 AM

Doesn't sound like he's letting go. Sounds more like he's punting her butt where it squarely needs to be. <br><br>He's more concerned about the child. There is no easy way about that. You can heap all the love you have on them, but that doesn't help them understand. <br><br>I don't think I'll ever tell my daughter what a lying, cold, hateful bitch her mother is. that's between her and I. What relationship the mother and daughter has will be built by them without my interference. Judging from experience, the mother willl posion that too. <br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 12:47 PM

Wow. Some thread! And some pile of sh!t you're having to wade through. One issue I haven't seen addressed here is the nature of the relationship between mother & daughter. From what you've revealed here, it's clear your wife has little invested in the relationship with you. But what's her emotional investment with your little girl. Have you discussed this with her? Have you asked her how she might explain her actions to her child, and how that would make the child feel?<br><br>The notion of staying together for the kids' sake is bunk. A stressful marriage will do more emotional damage to a kid than a civil split will.<br><br>My .02 is — if you're going to end the marriage, sue for custody of your daughter at the same time. It doesn't seem like mom's the ideal role model and moral compass for your kiddo.<br><br>
Posted by: iRock

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 01:00 PM

Don't forget in doing what's best to be true to yourself as well. It sounds like you are getting some help offline and that is a start. i think your heart will help guide you.<br><br>You can be changed by this but don't be reduced. Good luck my friend.<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 02:03 PM

Their relationship is okay at best. I'm sure there's mutual love. But it seems that it might only be because she should or has to. As far as her explaining her actions to our daughter, she said her actions didn't matter to her because she was asleep. I thought that was horrible.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 02:56 PM

I don't know what's gone on with your wife, but as the picture becomes clearer, it also becomes more obivous she is really messed up. She is not in touch with the reality of the matter.<br><br>Move quickly.<br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 03:07 PM

Dude, you repeat that to a judge in family court and that child will be in your care in a New York minute. That's about as cold as it gets.<br><br>
Posted by: MikeSellers

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 03:11 PM

" . . . she said her actions didn't matter to her because she was asleep."<br><br>Instead of a divorce lawyer, maybe you should contact a psychologist. That's seriously warped thinking. Has she always thought this way or is this something new? If she's unwilling to undergo some sort of anaysis, maybe you can describe her behavior and get some professional advice. You wouldn't walk away from a marriage because of a debilitating physical problem and this shouldn't be any different. If this is her normal way of reasoning, maybe you should walk away. But then thats begs the question of why have a child with someone so obviously ill-equipped to be a parent.<br><br>
Posted by: skuldugary

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 03:49 PM

"If this is her normal way of reasoning, maybe you should walk away. But then thats begs the question of why have a child with someone so obviously ill-equipped to be a parent."<br><br>That is not a helpful thing to say. <br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 03:50 PM

Yes, I agree. <br><br>Was she always like this or did she change recently? <br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 04:02 PM

The problem with bringing in a shrink on your own is this (and I speak from first-hand experience): If her reasoning is that far out of alignment, she will most likely refuse any treatment or counseling. That kind of denial can be insurmountable. Court-ordered counseling is another matter, though.<br><br>A slippery slope no matter how you attack it.<br><br>
Posted by: OSXaddict

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 04:09 PM

But if you offer it, at least you can later say that it was offered and refused...<br><br>
Posted by: MikeSellers

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 04:14 PM

. . . and if she won't see a psychologist, at least he can talk to one himself and possibly gain some insight on what he can and cannot do to take care of his child and himself and minimize any harm she can inflict. Kind of like Al-Anon.<br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: This is the question… - 03/11/05 04:30 PM

Agreed — but only to a point, because that's something that's hard to prove. It comes down to his word against hers. That's why I say that court-ordered counseling is another matter. If the family court recommends counseling, and it's refused or ignored, now you have an actionable point because it's documented.<br><br>
Posted by: Optimus_George

Re: This is the question… - 03/12/05 08:51 AM

MikeS, do you really think I wanted to marry someone like this? Not in a million years. Nor did I see her ever becoming what she has.<br><br>This has been a slow process that has reached its crescendo recently. It can no longer be ignored and I will not sit idly by while it is done to me and my daughter anymore. <br><br>I talked with her for a little while last night. The subject of custody came up and she interjected a snide remark that was more or less, "In Pennsylvania, the mother gets full custody of the child." Bluntly I stated "Perhaps, but I'm sure mothers that do get their child have not acted like you have." She didn't say a word.<br><br>As far as custody goes, I want to be her primary parent with her as partial. If she is unwilling to do this, then I have no choice but to sue for full-custody. I'd hate to do this because of their relationship, but upon talking with the lawyer, I will not have a problem getting it with the evidence that I have against her. So I'm hoping she'll see this is best for her, me and our daughter.<br><br>
Posted by: steveg

Re: This is the question… - 03/12/05 08:59 AM

If you haven't already done so (and I'm sure your attorney has also told you this), document everything. Every conversation, every comment, and every deed.<br><br>Good luck.<br><br>
Posted by: Pete

Re: This is the question… - 03/12/05 10:35 AM

Exactly, keep evidence- because I would suspect that by her past behavior, she could very well turn the whole thing around on you as if you were some neglectful husband...<br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>