What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights ??
Two buzzards decided to fly on a commercial airliner to LA, they thought it too far to fly on their own. So the two buzzards boarded the plane and were carrying a dead racoon. The stewardess asked, "would you like to check your baggage?" One replied, "No it's carrion !"
I went to the post office yesterday to see if there was any mail in my post office box, there was a nice older lady in the lobby that appeared to be talking to herself, as I got closer I saw that she was holding an envelope up to her mouth and speaking into the envelope, that seemed odd so I as her what she was doing and could I help...she said no help needed she was just sending a Voice Mail to her kids
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