Many people have asked, "Why did the British wear red coats in battle?"
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured a British Colonel. They took him to their headquarters, and the French General began to question him. Finally, as an afterthought, the French General asked, "Why do you British officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"
In his casual, matter-of-fact, way, the officer informed the General that the reason British officers wear red coats is so that if they are wounded, the blood won't show, and the men they are leading won't panic.
And that is why, from that day forward, all French Army officers wear brown trousers.
A family is having dinner at theátable one evening when the son asks the father, "Dad, how many different kinds of boobs are there?"
The father is a little taken aback, but he ponders for a moment before answering, "Well my son, a woman goes through three phases in life. In her 20s, herábreasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they becomeálike pears - still nice but hanging a bit. But after 50-60s, her breasts becomeálike onions."
The son is confused and asks, "Onions?"
The father replies, "Yes - you see them and they make you cry."
The mother heard this and was offended so she turned to the son and asked, "Did you know penises come in 3 varieties!" A Man goes through three phases in life. In his 20s, he's like an oak tree- solid and firm. In his 30s and 40s, heálike a willow tree - still firm but bends a bit. But after 50-60s, he's like a Christmas Tree"!!.
The son is confused and asks, "A Christmas Tree ?"
The mother replies, "Yes - you see - dead from the trunk UP !!
.... and the balls are there JUST for decoration !! "
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