A Poetry Competition in New Zealand has been won by a Scottish woman, with a magnificent set of verses about Donald Trump with lines like “tangerine gabshyte walloper” and “his mooth wis pursed up like an arse, His Tangoed coupon glowin’ like a skelped backside.”
Here’s Lorna Wallace of Kilmarnock reading the award-winning poem. ((text: courtesy of the transcription by Stuff.))
A Scot’s Lament fur her American Fellows (Oan their election of a “tangerine gabshyte walloper”*)
America, aw whit ye dain?! How could ye choose a clueless wain Ti lead yir country? Who wid trust A man sae vile?! A racist, sexist eedjit [censored] hairstyle?
Yet lo, ye votit (michty me!) Ti hawn’ this walloper the key Ti pow’r supreme, ti stert his hateful, Cruel regime. A cling ti hope that this is aw Jist wan bad dream.
But naw, the nightmare has come true, A curse upon rid, white an’ blue, An’ those who cast oot Bernie Must feel sitch regret Fur thinkin’ Mrs. Clinton Was a safer bet.
So noo we wait ti see unfold Division an’ intolerance, cold; A pois’nous bigotry untold Since Hitler’s rule As the free world’s hopes an’ dreams Lie with this fool.
Alas, complainin’ wullnae change The fact this diddy has free range Ti ride roughshod ow’r human beings That fall outside The cretinous ideals borne of His ugly pride.
Awch USA, we feel yir woes An’ pour oor wee herts oot ti those [censored] isnae Who they chose, But jist sit tight; Trump’s cluelessness Will time expose.
Fur sittin’ there beside Obama Efter the election drama, Trump looked like reality Had finally hit: Aboot the role of president [censored].
Poutin’, glaikit through this farce, His mooth wis pursed up like an arse, His Tangoed coupon glowin’ like A skelped backside. Despite all his bravado Trump looked keen ti hide.
Let’s therefur no despair an’ greet, Or see this outcome as defeat. Let’s wait an’ watch this bampot Flap his hawns an’ squirm When presidential pressures Crush him like a worm.
Hawd oan ti values you hold dear, Don’t let this numpty bring yi fear, His chants of hatred don’t speak fur The human race. Love will endure despite this Oarange-faced disgrace.
So USA, in ma conclusion, Know we Scots feel your confusion: We are also chained ti those Not of oor choosin’ . Stand firm fur unity will break Through Trump’s delusion.
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