This couple was going to give a dinner party. The menu consisted of salad and steak with mushrooms. When it came time to cook, they discovered they had no mushrooms. "That's ok" said the husband. "I'll go out to the woods and pick some wild ones." "How will we know if they're poisonous?" ask this wife. "Well we'll feed some to the dog first" answered her husband. So they did as planned and the dog liked them and all seemed to be fine.
Their guest arrived and they ate heartily until one of the guest came back into the dining room and announced that while he was outside he witnessed the death of the family dog!
Well, the two host panicked and immediately rushed their friends to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped. After the ordeal, the host ask the one guest,"Did the dog have to suffer very long?"
A talent scout had advertised auditions for animal acts to be on a television show. So a man and his dog appeared at the auditions and he explained to the scout that his dog could talk. The talent scout was skeptical but told the man to show him the dog's talents anyways ..first the man ask the dog..whats on the outside of a tree??? bark!bark! said the dog....good boy he said..now whats on top of the house? Roof!Roof! the dog said...at this point the talent scout was becoming a little exasperated.."ok who is the greatest baseball player of all time the man ask the dog...Ruth!Ruth!...the dog replied..
alright thats enough! get out of here the talent scout yelled...any dog can make those sounds....so as the man and his dog were leaving the auditions, the dog turned and said to his master......I guess I should have said DiMaggio instead???
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