I used to preach to my students that befor they married that wonderful person they were so much in love with they needed to move out of their parents house and live on their own so that they knew what it was like to be responsible for rent, food, utilities etc. I didn't say live together but told them that was up to them and their mores.
If we don't count our blessings We are just wasting our time
Loc: Southern Lake Superior
I lived with Mrs. Stumpy for 10 months before we got married. In my opinion, it was of no help whatsoever. My knee was still shaking at the altar when we made our vows.
We knew we loved each other. We committed to each other. It's mostly worked for 34 years.
Yes, there've been rocky times. Our arguments were nearly all over raising kids or use of money, the banes of many relationships.
The quote from that one lady in the article struck me, something to the effect of "I felt I was always auditioning to be his wife." I'm not sure what she meant by that, but treating your spouse with consistent respect may feel to some people like auditioning. To me it's just good behavior.
It also occurred to me that the cohabitation/shorter-marriage thing may just be a symptom, not cause and effect.
We seem to have the same tastes on a lot of things. That has made things a lot easier. Luck? Maybe. I don't know.
All I know is that after 34 years I know a lot about her, but have come to realize that I will never know her completely, not in this world. There is far too much depth to a person to learn completely about them in the measly course of a lifetime. Also, we have embraced the fact that as we grow, we sometimes change our minds about things.
We had our 34th this past Sunday. She apparently hasn't gotten completely fed up with my B.S.. So far, so good.
_________________________ Stumpy "Seek for the merit in others, even the tiniest shred. Then do the same in yourself" -Reb Nachman
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