Stealing this from a friend's FB post:

Mozel tov !!

Like talking to my rabid conservative Bro-in-Law !!
his dog makes more sense !

That is a good one.

I'm always looking for ethnic jokes that need the ethnicity for the joke to make sense.

Few do. Most you can just replace the stated ethnicity with any and it will have same effect. That is unless you are telling it to someone who expects it to be of one specific group. Then that is sad.

Dave

Good one!
(But then again, isn't that pretty much the way it is? )

Ok, how about some KU jokes.

Q: How do you keep a Jayhawk out of your yard?
A: Put up a goal post!

Q: Did you hear about the big power outage at the KU student union?
A: Forty Jayhawks were stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.

Q: What are the best 4 years of a KU student's life?
A: The 3rd Grade.

Q: What do you get if you breed a groundhog with a KU football player?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.

Q: What do you get if you drive by the KU campus real slow?
A: A degree.

Q: Did you hear they've decided to cover the Allen Field House court in cardboard next season?
A: People at KU have decided that their team always looks better on paper.

Q: How do you get a KU graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: Why do KU students hang their diplomas from their rearview mirrors?
A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.

Q: Why doesn't KU have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.

Q: How many KU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore class.

Q: What do you call a person from KU in a three piece suit?
A: The defendant.

Q: What's the difference between a litter of puppies and KU fans?
A: Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.

Q: What does the average KU player get on his SAT's?
A: Drool.

Coach is only dressing 10 players for the Jayhawks game against MU.    The rest of the team will get dressed by themselves.

LOL

those are priceless, Dave !

LOL , good one Dave.
I'll grab it and change to UH

Still laughing...thanks, Dave!

I got a laugh. Many of these were new to me and I'm from Kansas and a KU fan.

Dave

A hooded robber burst into a Wisconsin bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door, a brave Wisconsin customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber's face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.

Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"

There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak

Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Wisconsin tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."

ROFL! Good one DrJohn!

I gotta remember that one - - might need to use it !!

Okay, now that morbid and or sikish jokes have been entered, I will postpone that really is sick, I mean, truly.

I heard this one from the movie Blue Valentine





Dave

A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Dave

Dave, LOL !!

(the truck driver one)

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious.
"I have never heard of that condition before," he said. "Are you taking anything for it ?"
The woman nodded, "Pepper."
;-)

LOL. Pepper.

Now we know what's in the tissue

Dave