Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (Politically Corect version)<br><br>Original text is followed by the "politically correct" translation.<br><br>Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...<br>Translation: Rudolf was a four-hooved ungulate,<br><br>Original: Had a very shiny nose ...<br>Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage <br> of a maroon lustre.<br><br>Original: And if you ever saw him ...<br>Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present <br> themselves that he ever came into your view,<br><br>Original: You would even say it glows ...<br>Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark as to its <br> illuminary qualities.<br><br>Original: All of the other reindeer ...<br>Translation: The multitude of other members of the population <br> in his ecological community,<br><br>Original: Used to laugh and call him names ...<br>Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, <br> and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms -- <br> the objective of which was to lower <br> his self-esteen and make him miserable.<br><br>Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games ...<br>Translation: They also excluded him from participation in leisure <br> activities consistent with their species.<br> <br>Original: Then one foggy Christmas eve ...<br>Translation: However, on the twenty-fourth of December in an <br> unspecified year, <br><br>Original: Santa came to say ...<br>Translation: A mythological, supernatural being inherent to <br> western culture (who symbolizes the Christmas <br> attitude and allegedly brings gifts to children) <br> arrived through the supersaturated, humid air.<br><br>Original: Rudolph, with your nose so bright ...<br>Translation: He formally invited Rudolph, due to his extraordinary <br> nasal characteristic,<br><br>Original: Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?<br>Translation: To stand at the forefront of his snow vehicle <br> with the express purpose that he navigate through <br> the nocturnal mist.<br><br>Original: Then all the reindeer loved him ...<br>Translation: At that point, the multitude of other members <br> of the population in his ecological community <br> who had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, <br> and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms, reversed <br> their disposition toward Rudolph to a more <br> congenial, amicable relationship.<br><br>Original: And they shouted out with glee ...<br>Translation: They consequently exclaimed with great <br> exaltation and fervor,<br><br>Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ...<br>Translation: Rudolph, the antlered mammal with a maroon <br> nasal appendage,<br><br>Original: You'll go down in history!<br>Translation: You shall most certainly be recorded in the <br> annals of time and your memory will be preserved <br> for posterity!<br><br><br>Author Unknown<br><br><br><br>
The truly sad thing is, here in Toronto at least, you never hear "Merry Christmas" anymore. I have spoken to many folks of different faiths and they ALL tell me the same thing. THEY don't have a problem with it being the "Christmas" season. All this crap is generally brought about by politicians and advertisers who "think" that someone MAY be offended.<br><br>Maybe I'm wrong and totally out to lunch on this issue but that's the way I feel and am not likely to change my mind.<br><br>
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