Hope you don't mind. I gathered these jokes together and have no place else to post them...<br><br>"What a nightmare I had last night. I dreamed I was at a Washington party and I had to choose between Dick Cheney taking me on a hunting trip or Ted Kennedy driving me home." --Jay Leno <br><br>"But all kidding aside, and in fairness to Dick Cheney, every five years he has to shed innocent blood or he violates his deal with the devil." --Jimmy Kimmelen<br><br>"We have finally located weapons of mass destruction: It's Dick Cheney." --David Letterman<br><br>"I'm surprised Dick Cheney loves to hunt so much. The five times the government tried to give him a gun, he got a deferment." --Jay Leno<br><br>"But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor." --David Letterman<br><br>"Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. ... But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize this enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land, or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted -- it's just not worth it." --Jon Stewart<br><br>"Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fellow hunter, a 78-year-old lawyer. In fact, when people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity is now at 92 percent." --Jay Leno<br><br>"When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher. No, the other guy!" --Jay Leno<br><br>"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" --Craig Ferguson<br><br>"The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the news for 18 hours. I don't think that's a scandal at all. I'm quite pleased about that. Finally there's a secret the vice president's office can keep." --Craig Ferguson<br><br>"This is a great story. You've got the Vice President, a shotgun, a bunch of rich guys hunting tiny little birds. The only thing that could possibly make this story better is if he shot Michael Jackson."--Jimmy Kimmel<br><br>Cheney's best excuse for shooting the guy...he thought he was hunting Dan Quayle<br><br>"Happy Valentine's Day. Good news, good news today -- so far Dick Cheney has not shot anybody," --David Letterman<br><br>"But the real question now is -- is this a one-time thing or will the vice president try to kill again?" --David Letterman<br><br><br>
My jokes:<br><br>Cheney may face a big fine and 30 days in jail for shooting a GOP lawyer. He was hunting out of season and with no stamp.<br>Skunk season doesn't start until April 1st !! <br><br><br>#2<br><br>Well get off Dick's back !! At least he didn't shoot an "endangered species" !! <br>(like Bush did once -true)<br><br>David (OFI)<br>
Some interviews from [color:red] Bird News Daily</font color=red> From an undisclosed location <br>The lone survivor of a bird massacre,<br>Mr. Quail, with a beebee still in his heart<br>Leaks the identity of the responsible drunk to Judith Miller<br> <br>A [color:red]sparrow flying over</font color=red> had this to say<br>Some men fish in the sea,<br>Where 'Perfect Storms' imperil,<br>Others drink a beer or three,<br>And shoot fish in a barrel<br><br>And [color:red]one Pheasant pointed out</font color=red> the new sign posted on gate entrance to the Canned hunt ranch gate <br>WARNING NOTICE TO HUNTERS:<br>Please be advised<br>That lawyers may appear<br>As quail in disguise <br><br>The [color:red]Wise old owl</font color=red> reminded the reporters of this<br>They came from Wyoming and Texas, addicted to power and drink;<br>They bullied and lied, they tortured and spied till most folks were too scared to blink;<br>But when Scowl shot a hunter he thought was a bird and Swag let New Orleans drown,<br>Folks finally saw what these guys really were: a crusty old coot and a clown<br><br> <br><br><br><br><br><br>
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