Actually Steve, the best thing is NOT to ignore negative behavior (but also NOT to feed into it and send it back) but to give clear and logical consequences for their behavior. Good behavior gets positive feedback...negative gets a consequence.<br><br>But then again..we aren't dealing with children. It's adults here for the most part (I don't know of anyone under 18, though there isn't a problem with that) and we aren't in the same space, so ignoring or giving choices from those of us who have no control over the boards has no impact on the person. <br><br>My question to you is..have you ever seen it work? Here or any place else online?<br><br>I haven't.<br><br>
Loc: Yuba City, California
We can agree to disagree then. <br><br>I don't subscribe to your brand of "basic, proven child psychology", if there is such a thing, especially in this day and age. Ignore the problems and they'll go away, right? That's great, that just means you don't have to do anything. You can sit back and watch as another person self-destructs.<br><br>You promote alienation, I don't. Words have meaning or they don't.<br><br>But, IMHO, any attempt to engage a tormentor in a dialog only validates their behavior and perpetuates the problem.<br><br>Hmmm, let's see where else can we apply that kind of logic?<br><br><br><br><br>M i c h a e l (OFI)<br><br>[color:red]"Freedom's untidy. And free people are free to commit mistakes, and to commit crimes and do bad things." — Donald Rumsfeld</font color=red>
<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr><p> . . . the tactic has never been practiced across the entire constituancy.<p><hr></blockquote><p>And therein lies the rub. It's just human nature. I know I've been way guilty of aggravatin' dustups in other places. Hell, I kinda enjoy a good fight.<br><br>But this instance is different. It's one thing to attack a member, but it's unbelievably mean spirited to attack a member's family. It was a really, really low post. The sorry thing is that the puke that did it probably feels no shame and is actually enjoyin' the attention. <br><br>You can't reason with a cretin like this with a PM.<br><br>Sheesh, what a slime. He really needs his chain yanked permanently.<br><br>And NO SS type of registration for board membership! The forums sometimes degenerate into bloody free-for-alls, but it's still the last free frontier. I'd rather put up with the occasional a$$hole than give up my sense of independence.<br><br><br><br><br>[color:blue]And I'm the one that jaded you . . .</font color=blue>
Alienation? I don't think so. It's much more effective to demonstrate that inappropriate behavior gets you nowhere than to preach about it. Problems like this don't go away unless then people who cause them either go away or stop. And people like this aren't interested in being lectured. They just stick their fingers in their ears and do the LALALALALA thing.<br><br>So yes, we'll agree to disagree, and I won't mischaracterize you if you don't me. But maybe you can expand on this: <blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr><p>Hmmm, let's see where else can we apply that kind of logic?<p><hr></blockquote><p>
Well, this isn't Boys Town, where people have to interact in the flesh. This is a cocoon of anonymity where there really are no tangible consequences for bad behavior, and it's too easy to just log off before you have to deal with actual confrontation.<br><br>
i tend to agree with you. i think many adults know how to use words to hurt people they "know" (know being relative here online). if you know you can hurt someone then having them ignore your behavior doesn't stop the fact that you can irritate the targeted person. on the other hand, i don't think there's any standard policy that will work beyond moderators doing the trick.<br><br>--<br>"I am mindful that diversity is one of the strengths of the country" --president bush on 9/27/05
I won't pretend to know what the "real father" comment was about, I can only assume (by your and other's response) that it was pretty nasty.<br><br>Look, we all know who the sock puppets are here, they're the same 3 people as always. Best to just avoid them. Stan (if he's even still alive) isn't going to do anything and there's really not much he can do because it's just as easy to change your IP address as it is for Stan to ban them. Your only option is to simply ignore.<br><br>In any case, congrats on selling the house. I know what a pain in the arse it is to have to sell, move into a temp house, then move into your final purchased home. Adding that one move in the middle is the pain, but it also gives you the time to look around and find what you really want, rather than taking the first decent thing that comes along. Good luck.<br><br>
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