Loc: In Your Servers
<br><br>How to Shower like a Woman<br>Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to light and darks<br>Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.If you see your partner along the way conceal any exposed areas.<br>Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make mental note to do more situps.<br>Get in the shower.<br>Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.<br>Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.<br>Wash your hair again to make sure its clean.<br>Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.<br>Wash face with crushed Apricot and Almond facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.<br>Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake Body wash. At this stage also carry out final rinse of conditioned hair.<br>Shave armpits and legs.<br>Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.<br>Scream loudly when partner flushes toilet and reduces water pressure.<br>Switch off shower.<br>Squeegee off all wet surfaces in the shower. Spray mould spots with tilex.<br>Get out of shower.<br>Dry with towel the size of a small country.<br>Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.<br>Check entire body for any existing or potential zit, tweeze hairs.<br>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.If you see your partner along the way,cover up any exposed areas and then sneak into bedroom.<br>Spend an hour and a half getting dressed.<br><br>How to Shower Like a Man<br>Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them where they fall.<br>Walk naked to the bathroom.<br>If you see your wife along the way shake it at her making the “wooo wooo” sound.. Look at your manly physique in the mirror, suck in your gut to see if you have any pecks. Probably not.<br>Admire your manhood in the mirror, scratch ass and fart.<br>Get in the shower.<br>Glance round for face cloth and then remember you don’t use one.Too many choices anyway.<br>Wash your face.<br>Wash your armpits.<br>Blow your nose on your hands and let the water wash it off.<br>Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the cubicle.<br>Majority of time spent washing private parts and surrounding area.<br>Wash backside leaving hairs on soap.<br>Shampoo your hair with same soap, no conditioner necessary.<br>Make a shampoo mohalk.<br>Rinse optional.<br>Pee in shower<br>Get out of shower.<br>Fail to notice water on floor as curtain not fully retracted.<br>Partially dry off, stop and admire manhood in mirror again. Flex muscles.<br>Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.<br>Leave bathroom light and extractor fan on.<br>Return to bedroom with towel round waist.<br>If wife passes remove towel, shake it at her and make “wooo wooo” sound again.<br>Throw wet towel on bed.<br>Get dressed in under two minutes.<br>Fart.<br><br><br><br>
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