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You are not logged in. [Log In] AppleCentral » Forums » General Discussion » Stan's Lounge » Children's Independence
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#22580 - 10/27/02 05:58 PM Children's Independence
walzuhair Offline
Smudgaholic

Registered: 10/24/02
Posts: 4708
Loc: Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
As parents to 4 children, my wife and I always discuss the level of independence we can gradually give them. I admit we are both protective or as some people say, over protective. However, for us to get a feel of where we stand in comparison to non-Saudi Arabian societies, we’d like your kind comments on the following:<br><br>- At the age of 9 years old, we allowed the visit to some of the local stores a block away from home; alone. Anything farther than a block, in not allowed without either their mother or myself.<br><br>- At the age of 5 years old, we allowed the unattended preparation of sandwiches and snacks at the kitchen.<br><br>- At the age of 5 years old, we allowed to shower unattended. At 4 we would wait by the bathroom door to give help when requested.<br><br>- We still cannot allow them to go out using a bicycle or in-line skates, walking is ok though. That is due to the level of reckless driving in our neighborhood. <br><br>- We still cannot allow them to do gardening unattended.<br><br>Is that normal, protective, or over protective?<br><br>
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#22581 - 10/27/02 06:13 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: walzuhair]
Anonymous
Unregistered


Something like this is always subjective, and dependent on local conditions. Without knowing the details of your own environment, I would say that it looks like you're being thoughtful and careful, which strikes me as emminently commendable. Too many parents open the front door and chuck their kids out, while others never let them do anything out of paralyzing fear. You're being active and engaged with both your kids and the world you live in. Good for you!!!<br><br>

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#22582 - 10/27/02 06:21 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: walzuhair]
yoyo52 Offline
Nothing comes of nothing.

Registered: 05/25/01
Posts: 30520
Loc: PA, USA
When they hit puberty, throw them out and lock the door <br><br>Really, though, what you do sounds very reasonable, although it does depend on the environmnet. I have a friend who is originally from a little village north of Valladolid, in Spain, and when he goes back there (which he tries to do every summer), he lets his kids almost entirely alone because, he says, every villager acts like a parent to all the kids in the town. When he comes back here, though, it's lock-and-key time.<br><br>Great wits are sure to madness near allied.--John Dryden, "Absalom and Achitophel"<br>
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#22583 - 10/27/02 06:26 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: walzuhair]
sross Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/20/02
Posts: 2029
Loc: Texas
Although the raising of children in Saudi Arabia may look a little restrictive, my guess is that the children are raised with respect for parents, respect for their environment, and respect for each other.<br>Just last night my wife and I were in a restaurant with children just running all over. I couldn't get upset with the kids, but I did have a problem with their parents who let them run wild.<br><br>

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#22584 - 10/27/02 06:30 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: sross]
yoyo52 Offline
Nothing comes of nothing.

Registered: 05/25/01
Posts: 30520
Loc: PA, USA
Yep, sross--it's the parents. You wouldn't believe how often a little 2-year-old kid who lives two doors up from me is left entirely alone to play on the sidewalk. Once my wife saw him turn the corner and start hoofing it up the street, so she went after him, brought him back to his house--and then there was no one around.<br><br>We've called the cops several times, by the way--but nothing happens.<br><br>Great wits are sure to madness near allied.--John Dryden, "Absalom and Achitophel"<br>
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#22585 - 10/27/02 06:45 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: walzuhair]
steveg Offline
Making a new reply.

Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 27495
Loc: D'OHio
Used to be where you lived had a lot to do with how much slack you could cut your kids. These days, you have to be vigilant even in the quietest and safest of neighborhoods.<br><br>I still walk my 9-year old to school, but this year, I drop her at the corner and watch her go up the block to the school's entrance. She likes to make breakfast for us — usually fried eggs with cheese and ham, but she can't operate the stove unsupervised. And the only time she's left alone in the apartment is if we're across the hall or upstairs for a minute of two.<br><br>Funny thing is, I believe she's safer here in Manhattan than in the Boston suburb we came from several years ago. Go figure...<br><br>
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#22586 - 10/27/02 07:14 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: walzuhair]
carp Offline
Dino's are Babe magnets

Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 27021
Loc: Hawaii
Well my 6 year old grand daugther is not allowed to cross the street. Due to the crazy drivers "teens" that drive to fast.<br><br>She makes her own sandwiches and snacks but not allowed to cook. She also shows a great interest in cooking, when ever we are preparing meals she right there asking how to questions. I will let her cook as soon as she can reach the controls safely.<br><br>She is allowed to play outside unattended with her friends but as soon as it gets quiet we step outside. Besides there are many windows on this house so she is alway in view.<br><br>
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#22587 - 10/27/02 07:51 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: walzuhair]
walzuhair Offline
Smudgaholic

Registered: 10/24/02
Posts: 4708
Loc: Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Thank you all for your feedback. It’s comforting to know that we’re not exerting more than required safety and supervision around the children.<br><br>It’s totally true that the community raises the child; if that community has the right standards you like to follow. Otherwise, you raise your children to change the community (being Mac users is the first change.. Heheh)<br><br>Thanks again, you’ve all been great friends..<br><br>
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#22588 - 10/27/02 08:02 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: walzuhair]
Mactico Offline
I invented modding!

Registered: 04/20/02
Posts: 1871
<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr><p>being Mac users is the first change.. <p><hr></blockquote><p>How is the Mac Community in your country?<br><br>
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#22589 - 10/27/02 08:12 PM Re: Children's Independence [Re: Mactico]
walzuhair Offline
Smudgaholic

Registered: 10/24/02
Posts: 4708
Loc: Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr><p>How is the Mac Community in your country?<p><hr></blockquote><p>Almost nonexistent.. It a Windows world here..<br><br>
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