Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached a point in the history of our country where it is time to amend the Constitution. Therefore, I propose the following:<br><br>AMENDMENT XXVIII<br><br>Section 1. No human being should be allowed to drive around a neighborhood blaring loud rap music. Should a person engage in such activity, they will be pulled out of their car by the head of their hair, beaten to within an inch of their lives, shouted at repeatedly "STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE BLACK!!! YOU'RE WHITE!!!!!" and have their eyes gouged out with a shrimp fork, then be shot in the kneecaps before being arrested.<br><br>Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.<br><br>
AMENDMENT XXVIV<br><br>Section 1. No blue-haired fossil wearing big, tinted wrap-around safety glasses should be allowed to drive 5 year-old Town Cars, Crown Vickies or El Dorados which they are incapable of controlling in a freaking' driveway! Should a geezer engage in such activity, they will be pulled out of their car by the wig on their liver-spotted head, beaten to within an inch of their lives, shouted at repeatedly (even though they can't hear it) and have their oversized bangles rammed up their wrinkled behinds, then be shot in the depends!<br><br>
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