Living Will<br><br>I, _________________________ (fill in the blank),<br>being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely<br>by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the<br>hands of peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if<br>their lives depended on it.<br><br>If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a<br>cold beer, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.<br><br>When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse,<br>children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes<br>and call it a day.<br><br>Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a<br>special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that<br>these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead<br>to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who<br>aren't in a permanent coma.<br><br>Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case .<br><br>I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge<br>for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play<br>politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace.<br><br>I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send e-mails to<br>legislators in which they pretend to care about me.<br>I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to<br>preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business,<br>too. <br><br>If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a<br>political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make<br>his or her existence a living hell.<br><br> _______________________________________<br> Signature<br> <br>_______________________________________<br> Witness<br><br>Truth is a 3 edged sword.
_________________________ I used to think it was terrible that life was unfair. Then I thought what if life were fair and all of the terrible things that happen came because we really deserved them? Now I take comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
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