Loc: United States
I guess counseling would be an option- not sure if that's already been attempted.<br><br>My parents went through all this- not with the same details, but ultimately the end result was divorce. I can't say, as the child, I was all too pleased with the result but they apparently needed to split to find happiness. One person is never going to want it as much as the other- maybe the threat needs to be there in order to get past this.<br><br>Have you threatened at all? Maybe, like Bryan said, she needs a 'reality check'.<br><br>Bottom line is to do what's in your heart, not what any of us tell you to do.<br><br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
The thing is, I've given her chances to change and to come clean with our marital issues and she's turned away multiple times. I especially remember when I told her she meant enough for me to try to get past it (this was after staying out until 1:00 PM at the guy's house) (unknown to me at the time) and we should get counseling and try to make it work. Two days later she was with the guy again until after 6:00 AM or so. She did variations of this a couple times. It was only when the guy didn't "like" her anymore that she felt sorry for what she did.<br><br>
Mike is right and there can't be enough stress on the part about being civil. <br>If you can both be supportive of the child and are nasty to eachother then you have a foundation to move forward. <br><br>Let me be very frank with you, and I'll just say that you should keep in mind that when I say 'you' I'm refering to both husband and wife.<br>If by accident or not, doesn't matter how you had a child. What does matter is that you brought a new person into this world. You made an unspoken promise to provide a mother and father, give balance, wisdom, emotional shelter, and safety. <br>As the childs father, you'd charge into a burning building to save that child at the cost of your own life. You'd donate an organ, you'd work 2, 3, 5 jobs to put food in her mouth. You are her shield. <br>So, how much different are all those drastic and deadly challenges from dealing with and coming to terms with one person?<br><br>don't get me wrong. I don't want to make you feel that if you don't cut off a limb, you're not doing enough. Instead, look at what you can do, do it, and if the other person doesn't do the same, well then, your next task is to make the life for you and your daughter as full and rewarding as possible.<br><br>
Loc: United States
There's no reason or possible excuse for a married woman to be hanging out with another guy. Reverse roles and ask yourself if she would tolerate *you* doing the same thing...<br><br><br>[color:red]MLB, O&A - only on XM! Sign up now and drive up my stock...</font color=red>
That's part of the problem. Not that it's directly on your shoulders, but how can a problem be fixed if the cause is a mystery?<br><br>Since we've come this far down the path, I'll entrude into your world a bit more by suggesting that you ask her. The answer won't feel good, but it's a place to start. <br><br>Some people who have affiars are very much like those who commit suicide. They do it because they have fallen in to a hole so deep they can't see a way out. They don't see the people around them who are more than willing to help, or the value of the people and life they are giving up. And because of that, they aren't very open to listen at first. But if, and I mean if becuse I don't want to fill you with false hope, but if they do begin to listen they can turn around. <br><br>It's possible your wife has a lot to say. I suggest that you say little or nothing at all. Simply ask questions. Not attacking or cornering. More like 'what is missing' 'what are you looking for' You'll know better than anyone, but she might not be ready for you to fix it, but again, if her problem is about you, home, picking noses, or whatever, at least you know more than before. <br><br>
Well, I asked last night and I received two answers for both of her actions.<br><br>Question: Why do you go out all the time? What is it you find there? <br>Answer: Socialization. I love to socialize.<br><br>Join a sewing club. The horrible thing is, the dive/bar is NOT a good place to socialize. And the people there are an unsavory lot.<br><br>Question: Why did you do whatever with the other guy?<br>Answer: He was a flirt, but deep down inside he seemed to be a nice guy.<br><br>That seemed to me that it wasn't so much a problem with me, as it was a need on her part. Like her feelings towards our family didn't even matter. I don't know how to take that one.<br><br>
Dude...this chick is out of control. Just by what you're describing, she's making it alllll about her. She's acting like she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants. <br><br>Sorry, lady......but when you get married, and have a kid....cruising the bars is over. Period. <br><br>
#219680 - 03/11/0501:37 PMRe: This is the question…
I've been to this bar that she frequents. It's not the Ritz Carlton by any stretch of the imagination. I illustrate the quality of atmosphere and regulars like this: It's like a bus station that serves drinks.<br><br>
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