Dear Appie,<br><br>Despite Apple's best efforts, the Mac share of the new computer market continues to decline. There's been a lot of bad PR lately for Apple, the most recent debacle being that scrap between Jobs and IDG.<br><br>Have they lost it over there in Cupertino, or is there a method to this madness that is beyond the understanding of this mere mortal?<br><br>I hope so, but I'm beginning to doubt it. The wheels appear to be in real danger of falling off. Have they finally run out of "insanely great" ideas?<br><br>(Signed: "Concerned" of Gumboot City.)<br><br>
I'm sure Apple is carefully calculating their whole comeback scheme, letting all those windows weenies crow about their speed just long enough so they're really convinced it makes a difference, and then pulling the new 4.6 GHz G5 from out of nowhere so that the weenies will have to switch cause they believe their own MHz myth.<br><br>Great wits are sure to madness near allied.--John Dryden, "Absalom and Achitophel"
_________________________ MACTECHubi dolor ibi digitus
My complaint about Apple<br><br>I've reached a point where I feel the need to express my disappointment with Apple. For starters, my purpose here is not to demonstrate conclusively that nerdy louts like Apple are all alike. Well, okay, it is. But I should point out that there are some simple truths in this world. First, Apple's arrogance will lead it to besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures by the end of the decade. Second, it is incumbent upon all of us to confront Apple's hatchet jobs head-on. And finally, this is not the place to develop that subject. It demands many pages of analysis, which I can't spare in this letter. Instead, I'll just state the key point, which is that Apple is missing not only the point, but also the whole paradigm shift and huge sociological implications. It will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact, because if it didn't, you might come to realize that I welcome its comments. However, it needs to realize that some people think it's a bit extreme of me to put an end to callow pharisaism -- a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that Apple maintains that the ideas of "freedom" and "philistinism" are Siamese twins. Perhaps it would be best for it to awaken from its delusional narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but to say that it understands the difference between civilization and savagery is rabid nonsense and untrue to boot. It may be helpful to take a step back and develop an alternative community, a cohesive and comprehensive underground with a charter to take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers. No joke. However, Apple has been deluding people into believing that it acts in the public interest. Don't let it delude you, too. <br><br>Apple can write anything it wants about how things would be different were we to give into its demands and let it place stumbling blocks in front of those of us who seek value and fulfilment in our personal and professional lives, but many people who follow its revenge fantasies have come to the erroneous conclusion that it's perfectly safe to drink and drive. The stark truth of the matter is that the picture I am presenting need not be confined to Apple's convictions. It applies to everything it says and does. As a parenthetical note, the word "characteristicalness" is so compromised that I retain it only as a pejorative. Don't make the mistake of thinking otherwise. Apple does, and that's why there is no place in this country where we are safe from its supporters, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. For a variety of reasons, some strategic, some ideological, some attitudinal, and all of them wrong, the worst kinds of superficial uncouth-types there are make our country spiritually blind. Apple's position that no one is smart enough to see through its transparent lies is based upon a specious argument without any substantive basis. That's the sort of statement that some people feel is infernal, but which I believe is merely a statement of fact. And it's a statement that needs to be made, because griping about Apple will not make it stop trying to trick academics into abandoning the principles of scientific inquiry. But even if it did, it would just find some other way to trade fundamental human rights for a cheap "guarantee" of safety and security. <br><br>As you can see, I've tried explaining to Apple's backers that Apple has only half (if that) of the information needed to make an informed decision about colonialism, but it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. Apple's propaganda machine once said that Apple would never inject even more fear and divisiveness into political campaigns. So much for credibility! Perhaps there will be public outrage if Apple tries to permit pouty drug addicts to rise to positions of leadership and authority, but remember that I want to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into credentialism. That may seem simple enough, but what really upsets me is that it wants to give voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to its deep-rooted love of alcoholism. So let it call me inarticulate. I call it ignominious. <br><br>After watching Apple's cat's-paws condone illegal activities, one might conclude that Apple et al. would lay out their own ideas of philosophical pedagogy, textual interpretation, and moral philosophy. Surprisingly, nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, if you look back over some of my older letters, you'll see that I predicted that Apple would wage a clandestine guerilla war against many basic human rights. And, as I predicted, it did. But you know, that was not a difficult prediction to make. Anyone who has bothered to learn even a little about Apple could have made the same prediction. If I am doomed to self-censor my critique of Apple, then Apple will obviously let down ladders which the doctrinaire, daft, and viperine scramble to climb sometime soon. Apple has it all wrong; if it had done its homework, it'd know that I, not being one of the many ornery, footling rude-types of this world, don't want to build castles in the air. I don't want to plan things that I can't yet implement. But I do want to reach the broadest possible audience with the message that I will do my best to halt the destructive process that is carrying our civilization toward extinction, because doing so clearly demonstrates how I have a dream, a mission, a set path that I would like to travel down. Specifically, my goal is to shatter the adage that black is white and night is day. Of course, it is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside itself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of its wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. <br><br>Maybe Apple is being manipulated by unbridled, boisterous blockheads, but even so, it has been brought to my attention that it trumpets disorganized interventionism laced with unambitious extremism. While this is true, if my memory serves me correctly, this is not the first time I've wanted to enable patriots to use their freedoms to save their freedoms. But it is the first time I realized that there is a simple answer to the question of what to do about its propositions. The difficult part is in implementing the answer. The answer is that we must provide you with vital information which it has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering. If Apple bites me, I will indeed bite back. If we contradict Apple, we are labelled foul-mouthed, venal prophets of negativism. If we capitulate, however, we forfeit our freedoms. I undeniably hope that humanity will rid this earth of incoherent misanthropes with the greatest dispatch, since otherwise, the earth might well become rid of humanity. There is reason to fear that jaded oafs will make serious dialogue difficult or impossible before long. But there are other strains of hidebound racialism active today, and the siren calls of those movements may mesmerize brazen tyrants whose anal-retentive fervor blinds them to historical lessons. <br><br>As I see it, Apple favors obfuscation and deviousness above frankness. That fact may not be pleasant, but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter. Now, I'm no fan of Apple's, but still, we must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do, but because the worst sorts of pugnacious, nugatory mendicants there are are the biggest threat to freedom the world has ever seen. That's the current situation, and if you have any doubt about the reality of it, then you haven't been paying close enough attention to what's been happening in the world. Now, I am all for freedom of speech, but I'm not writing this letter for your entertainment. I'm not even writing it for your education. I'm writing it for our very survival. <br><br>The truth hurts, doesn't it, Apple? Apple's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Apple's trucklers, who loudly proclaim that newspapers should report only on items Apple agrees with. Regardless of those despicable proclamations, the truth is that its shenanigans are a house of mirrors. How are we to find the opening that leads to freedom? The answer is obvious if you understand that it should learn to appreciate what it has instead of feeling so oppressed because it can't do everything it wants, every time it wants to. If Apple wants to make bribery legal and part of business as usual, fine. Just don't make me react violently while it's at it. What Apple apparently fails to realize is that it is capable of only two things, namely whining and underhanded tricks. <br><br>A small child really couldn't understand that Apple is a very unpleasant little organization. But any adult can easily grasp that if Apple can one day recruit and encourage young people to force us to do things or take stands against our will, just as older drug dealers use young kids to push drugs, then the long descent into night is sure to follow. If you look soberly and carefully at the evidence all around you, you will truly find that I decidedly hope that the truth will prevail and that justice will be served before Apple does any real damage. Or is it already too late? A complete answer to that question would take more space than I can afford, so I'll have to give you a simplified answer. For starters, Apple's overbearing publicity stunts arose out of an unjust system only to spread more injustice in their wake, proving that there is no end to irrational, short-sighted exhibitionism. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. Apple talks loudly about family values and personal responsibility, but when it comes to backing up those words with actions, all it does is pervert human instincts by suppressing natural, feral constraints and encouraging abnormal patterns of behavior. Before I leave this issue, let me share an interesting finding from a recent poll: Four out of five people surveyed believe that Apple is intellectually dishonest in everything it says and does, so to speak. <br><br>Particularly telling is the way that Apple might make incorrect leaps of logic faster than you can say "dendrochronological". What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome? Apple has a staggering number of self-serving, soporific compeers. One way to lower their numbers, if not eradicate them entirely, is simple. We just inform them that if Apple thinks that it can doctor evidence and classification systems and make stupid generalizations to support intellectually stultified, preconceived views and get away with it, then it's sadly mistaken. My prediction that Apple would lionize the worst classes of bleeding-heart hooligans I've ever seen came true so quickly, so brutally, so horribly, that even I was stunned by the magnitude and viciousness of it all. <br><br>It appears that, for Apple, "open-mindedness" isn't a policy or a belief, but a flag to wave when it feels like it, and one to hide when it doesn't suit its purposes. Well, that's getting away from my main topic, which is that it will probably never understand why it scares me so much. And Apple does scare me: Its quips are scary, its newsgroup postings are scary, and most of all, now is the time to redefine the rhetoric and make room for meaningful discussion. I know you're wondering why I just wrote that. I'll explain shortly, but first, I should state that there is a problem here. A large, narrow-minded, offensive problem. It is more than a purely historical question to ask, "How did Apple's reign of terror start?" or even the more urgent question, "How might it end?". No, we must ask, "To what depths of depravity does Apple need to descend before the rest of us realize we must maximize our individual potential for effectiveness and success in combatting it?" People often ask me that question. It's a difficult question to answer, however, because the querist generally wants a simple, concise answer. He doesn't want to hear a long, drawn-out explanation about how Apple claims to have turned over a new leaf shortly after getting caught trying to pose a threat to personal autonomy and social development. This claim is an outright lie that is still being circulated by Apple's slaves. The truth is that Apple may do everything possible to keep what I call fatuous scofflaws moonstruck and socially inept right after it reads this letter. Let it. Any day now, I, for one, will lead Apple out of a dream world and back to hard reality. Given the range and unpredictability of human behavior, it is quite possible that Apple's perversions are precisely the kind of thing that will stand in the way of progress before you know it. If you doubt this, just ask around. Oppressive delinquents are responsible for the villainous, craven tenor of Apple's nostrums. And that's the honest truth.<br> <br>[i]Verbal barrage courtesy of this site<br><br>
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