An Election Year Special From Carnival Cruise Lines!!! <br><br>We at Carnival Cruise Lines are not forgetting that a lot of entertainers promised to leave the country if George W. Bush were to be re-elected President. <br><br>With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise! <br><br>Attention: Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her "wife", Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoopi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner (apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise: <br>Please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the CCL Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan. You <br>may also opt to be dropped off in Somalia, Iran, North Korea, Pakistan, Sudan, Iraq or some similar sunny location (A list of optional countries will be provided upon check-in, for your convenience). <br><br>The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise. <br><br>Remember to pack for an extended stay... at least FOUR MORE YEARS. <br><br>Please Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any firearms. <br><br>Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as Captain, John Edwards as Cruise Director, and Gray Davis, as Purser (the guy in charge of managing the money). "Teh-RAY-sah" Heinz Kerry hopefully will be shoved somewhere below decks away from the media. <br><br>Monica Lewinsky will be the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl". Entertainment will be provided by the Dixie Chicks, Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, Jackson Browne, and Bonnie Raitt, and movies will be shown each evening by Michael Moore. <br><br>John Kerry will be our Life Guard based on his past experience of pulling people out of the water. He is also in charge of games and has eliminated "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard". Be sure to pack your flip flops, as you will need them while playing. <br><br>Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and back-up Life Guard. He only qualifies as back-up Life Guard since his past experience in rescuing people from drowning has not been too successful. <br><br>Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson will provide all religious services, and Al Franken will give inspirational talks each afternoon. <br><br>If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please contact Senator Hillary Clinton (MA). Her "Village" can raise your children while you're gone, and will be available to watch over all your money/financial assests, and your furnishings until you return, in exchange for a campaign donation and your future vote/s when she runs for President or for a substantial one-time fee payable directly to her "Village" to cover operational expenses. <br><br>"Bon Voyage!" <br><br><br>
_________________________ [red]Bibo, ergo sum[/red]
_________________________ I used to think it was terrible that life was unfair. Then I thought what if life were fair and all of the terrible things that happen came because we really deserved them? Now I take comfort in the general unfairness and hostility of the universe.
Xplain's use of MacNews, AppleCentral and AppleExpo are not affiliated with Apple, Inc. MacTech is a registered trademark of Xplain Corporation. AppleCentral, MacNews, Xplain, "The journal of Apple technology", Apple Expo, Explain It, MacDev, MacDev-1, THINK Reference, NetProfessional, MacTech Central, MacTech Domains, MacForge, and the MacTutorMan are trademarks or service marks of Xplain Corp. Sprocket is a registered trademark of eSprocket Corp. Other trademarks and copyrights appearing in this printing or software remain the property of their respective holders.
All contents are Copyright 1984-2010 by Xplain Corporation. All rights reserved. Theme designed by Icreon.