A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following<br>exchange:<br>[color:blue]Officer</font color=blue>: May I see your driver's license?<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.<br>[color:blue]Officer</font color=blue>: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: It's not my car. I stole it.<br>[color:blue]Officer</font color=blue>: The car is stolen?<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card<br>in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.<br>[color:blue]Officer</font color=blue>: There's a gun in the glove box?<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who<br>owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.<br>[color:blue]Officer</font color=blue>: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: Yes, sir.<br>Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:<br>[color:green]Captain</font color=green>: Sir, can I see your license?<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: Sure. Here it is.<br>It was valid.<br>[color:green]Captain</font color=green>: Who's car is this?<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.  The driver owned the<br>car.<br>[color:green]Captain</font color=green>: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun<br>in it?<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.  Sure enough, there was nothing<br>in the glove box.<br>[color:green]Captain</font color=green>: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a<br>body in it.<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: No problem.<br>Trunk is opened; no body.<br>[color:green]Captain</font color=green>: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him<br> you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and<br>that there was a dead body in the trunk.<br>[color:red]Driver</font color=red>: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too<br><br><br>

INNER PEACE<br><br>My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.<br><br>So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a chocolate cake.<br><br>...... I feel better already.<br><br><br>

[color:green]So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a chocolate cake.</font color=green><br><br>Just reading that sentence took my cholesterol level up ten points.<br><br>John<br>[color:red]I don't need no steenkin' signature!</font color=red>

hehe... today, I had 6 20oz. Dr. Pepper's and a Mrs. Baird's Apple Pie...<br><br>hehe<br><br>***<br>"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." --Mother Teresa

The key to inner peace is to finish what you start?<br><br>Boy, that's really great to<br><br>