From Crazy Apple Rumors or whatever their silly name is...<br><br>Ellen Feiss Commercial Subdues Wild Jaguar.<br><br>Lost amid the tales of packed Apple Stores and fabulous sales figures, one Apple retailer had a strange yet touching Jaguar rollout experience. At Mac Station in Vancouver BC, tragedy was narrowly averted in a case of beauty and the beast.<br><br>"It seemed like a good idea at the time," said Dave deBruyn of Mac Station. "You know, for the Jaguar release, why not have a real jaguar in the store? Retailers do this kind of thing all the time - people love it!"<br><br>Indeed, Saturday started out as a tremendous success. Customers were thrilled by the big cat, held safely at bay by a chain and an animal trainer, and were scooping up copies of Jaguar by the armful. All seemed well.<br><br>"And then that damn squirrel got in!" deBruyn said. "I don't know how it got into the store, but it was darting back and forth right in front of the jaguar."<br><br>"The next thing I know the jaguar's snapped its chain and it's tearing around the place after this stupid squirrel! People are screaming, the trainer's running after it yelling 'No, Umgowa! Bad kitty! Bad kitty!'"<br><br>Just as the day seemed ready to devolve into chaos and disaster, a screen that had been showing a variety of Apple Switch ads began displaying the spot featuring Ellen Feiss.<br><br>"The minute Ellen started saying 'Beep-beep-beep!' the jaguar stopped dead in its tracks," deBruyn said. "It was completely mesmerized by the image of Ellen on the screen!"<br><br>According to witnesses, the cat calmly sat down and began to clean its paws in front of Feiss' image. deBruyn quickly put the QuickTime video on continuous loop and within seconds the trainer had regained control of the cat.<br><br>"The whole rest of the day the jaguar was a pussycat!" deBruyn said. "I don't even think we needed the chain. Something about Ellen's laid back manner took all of the fight out of it."<br><br>"There are those who say... you know.. 'twas beauty that tamed the beast. You know... 'cause Ellen... oh, never mind."<br><br><br>[color:red]semicolon dash parenthesis</font color=red>
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I like her. She's more fun then Steven. Reminds me of when I was a teen in the late '70s. The world didn't seem as sinister then. Before any STDs could kill you.<br><br>Cheers, iRock<br>Order line-<br>"How much stuff comes on a computer, because Iím trying to get one of all of 'em."
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