Because? Ted Cruz has done more damage to the GOP than it deserves. His weirdly PalinEsque persona has so successfully put off moderates that I'm considering sending him a very sincere Thank You note.

Any suggestions for wording? OK, beyond the obvious "Hey, DickHead? Seriously? You runnin' 4 prez?"

Make all the jokes you like about how we raise 'em dumb down here. Then read up on our very best. The list includes LBJ and . . .


Cruz . . . OMG . . . OK, where's the Donald when we need him laugh

[Ted Cruz was born in Canada. His father was Cuban. Like, this is news to anybody? Bueller? Bueller?]

I always deserve it. Really.