Admittedly that other stuff is important too, especially for her family, but that is not what she was to most of the world, so you put that SECOND.

The part about "following her husband" is the most damning to me. You would never say that about a man. Heck, the reason we live in Tokyo now is because I "followed" my wife because she had managed to transfer into a very respected and prestigious university. But if you put that in my obit I'd haunt your house for eternity. Yeesh.
We are what we repeatedly do - Aristotle