An open letter to the CEOs of Applebee's, Papa John's, Olive Garden, Dead Lobster, and all the other ptomaine palaces that have decided to make sour grapes their #1 house special...

Gentlemen:

Since a skosh over half the citizens of the U.S. voted to re-elect President Obama, it's probably safe to assume that your constituency has a similar political construct. So if that's true, and if the blowback from half of your customer base is not related to the gas your fare is known to produce, how do you explain the *cough* wisdom of alienating slightly more than one of every two patrons? Is that also based on Romney/Ryan math?

I'd love to know in which chapter of "In Search of Excellence" you read the plan to halve your revenue by acting like half an ass.

But if my assumption is wrong and in fact the majority of your customers are Republicans, I can take some consolation in gleaning from your statements empirical evidence that poor nutrition is causally linked to delayed intellectual development.

Guys, my compliments to the chef who just cooked your collective goose!

Sincerely,
An ex-diner of yours.
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