So, I bought another one (the first one was returned to Best Buy) from Amazon. I like Amazon, because they will let you return anything, no questions asked.
Plugged it in, and within about 4 minutes the network was set up, all third party devices were configured, and I had (I think) fully functioning NAT. I spent a week pulling my hair out on that last one just trying to get through that router from the outside. I guess the problem really was the device.
So odd that everything about the router would work perfectly except for the ability to have connections from the outside. That just seems so software based.
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